Monday, August 26, 2013

DAY 50 - Restless Redux

Usually I'm able to get out of a restless funk but, unfortunately for me, it seems to have carried over from yesterday. I've been thinking about what's different from the last couple of days and when I started feeling this way, and I suppose there's a number of things I can point to.

For one, I've been listening to things like Panic's newest single and the S1 opening for Oreimo. I found recently that I really enjoy the group that performs the latter, Claris. Despite me not knowing Japanese well at all, it's something about the voice and the emotion in all their songs that just gets at me. It's something I used to feel all the time growing up in middle school and high school. I suppose the same thing can be said for Panic, too.

Secondly, there's a handful of important decisions for me to make very, very soon. Mostly the school thing and what I want to do with myself and all that gooey goodness. I've said before that I generally don't put myself in situations where I'd be anxious or worried, so perhaps my lack of experience with the feeling is making it all the more terrible. 

And thirdly... well, work. Work mostly. That's all I've been doing lately. By the time I get home, I usually watch something, play a game or something. Maybe work on D&D things. More often than not, though, I fall asleep. Then I wake up and go to work, rinse and repeat. This... is what I've grown to disdain. 

I don't hate my job. The people are nice, the hours are great. I get paid and all that, I get to buy food and things I want. That's more than a lot of people the world over can say. I suppose I'm just bad at managing my time, or maybe enjoying it. Right now it just doesn't seem worth doing for the rest of my life. Hm.... 

I still need to find that thing that makes me happy. 

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