DAY 81 - Baseball Past

Talking about baseball yesterday got me to thinking... how did I exactly get into it in the first place?

My family as a whole isn't really big on sports besides basketball, boxing and the occasional tennis. Being a part of a Chicago-Filipino family, the most I've heard about sports relates to either the Chicago Bulls during the 90s or Manny Pacquiao of boxing fame. That's about it for my family in terms of sports. I'd say that my family is sort of bandwagon-y, but even when the Blackhawks took it home twice in the last three years, I never once heard their name in my household.

I didn't have anyone to encourage me to go into sports. The most sport-like thing I did was take karate for a year or so, but that never completely panned out for me. I also had the fortune of grow up during the time of the rise of video games, so my childhood primarily focused on catching Pokemon as opposed to catching home run balls at the ballpark, which I don't mind at all.

So my younger years seriously lacked baseball, though I remember some big events like the whole Chicago Cubs/Steve Bartman fiasco in 2003 and some of my high school teachers going nuts about the Red Sox taking it home after 86 years. I think that's about the time I got into the wide world of baseball, because during that time I met a good friend who was into baseball for far longer than I've been. I remember him saying he's gone to games when Sammy Sosa was on the Cubs.

Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure how we got to the topic of baseball as we generally hung out through a shared interest in video games, but I think at one point we went to a baseball game. I didn't immediately fall in love with the game, but I know I enjoyed it. From there we went to more and more games, and I was even able to catch a few fly balls! After that, my friend set up a fantasy baseball game and that's when it all came together.

I did a lot of research on who to draft, who was projected to have a good or bad year and all of that. I was so invested in the game that I started frequenting a baseball site, MLB Trade Rumors, in an attempt to get an edge. I've since read it everyday and have branched out to several other sites for baseball news and, as a result, have become decently baseball-savvy. What I like about the sport, I think, is that it's very tactical. That and it just feels so... community-based, maybe? Either way, I look forward to the day where I can pass on my love for baseball.

---

Oh yeah, and in regards to the fantasy baseball league... Admittedly, despite all the player research I didn't look into how a fantasy game was played so I think I made a fool of myself during the draft period, but I quickly got the hang of it. I even made awesome moves based on sabermetrics, which is a whole 'nother beast; case-in-point, Max Scherzer. Leading the wins category in my league.

Still in last place, though. Three years straight, ha.

DAY 80 - Baseball Present

I think I've mentioned some time before that I'm a baseball fan though it's hard to remember every little thing that you bring up over the course of 80 posts that isn't the main topic. In particular, I am an avid fan of the Chicago Cubs. I don't know everything there is to know about the Cubs past and present, but I think I know more than the average fan. Enough to know top prospects, projected year for contending and all that.

I bring this up because the this weekend is the last weekend for regular season baseball. October, for those who don't know, is playoff month and the Cubs... well, they're fourth to last--in the entire, thirty-team league. Despite the abysmal record, they're definitely better than last year and their recent signings are enough to make me look forward to 2014 (or 2015). Still, I support my team by going out to games and keeping up with the latest news.

But you see, the problem this year is... I didn't go to a single ball game. That might seem trivial or silly to some, but if memory serves I've gone to at least one baseball game every year. I've even gone to some games far north in Milwaukee, which was pretty fun.

Whenever I went to a game at the Friendly Confines, I usually went with a couple of friends. I think the issue this year is that our schedules never aligned and we took it for granted. Half of any team's games are played at home, so... "that's 81 whole games! We'll catch one eventually, right? Right?" But as I'm sitting here typing this, all 81 home games have come and gone, with the last three games of the Cubs' season happening south in St. Louis. I thought about making the trip out there with my friend, but the price would probably have been high due to the Cardinals being playoff-bound and, well, the trip itself.

It's okay though. Like a Cubs fan says, hoping their team will win a World Series, so too will I say hoping to catch a game in the future: there's always next year.

DAY 79 - 'Fraid

Halloween is a little over a month away and that got me to thinking about scary things.

In short, I am no good with scary things whatsoever. At least real-time things.

Contrary to what some folks might say about violent video games making people equally violent, I can't stand watching any of that grotesque, bloody violence in live-action movies. I also am very easily surprised. That coupled with even slightly scary things makes it all the worse. To give you an idea: I flinched pretty badly near the end of The Departed--spoiler--wherein Leonardo DiCaprio's character gets shot in the head as soon as the elevator door opened. Granted, I think it was actually still pretty shocking, but hot damn that scared me. Another extremely mild example is whenever I think I'm alone and I start singing or think aloud; whenever I am promptly proven wrong, I kind of jump or reply loudly.

If it's at all within my power I tend to stop the video or the gif or whatever before it gets a chance to spook me. Even when I'm fully expecting a jump scare, I can never truly prepare for it. One thing I do which I am pretty sure is annoying is to do the jump scare myself; that is, suddenly move or something. Ruins the mood, I'd say, but holy crap. Long after a scary video or story or whatever, the memory of it stays with me for awhile and it's enough to make me extremely paranoid.

Back when I worked at my old theater job, whenever I had something scary in recent memory, the long hour trip back via public transportation was just... dreadful, haha. I walked along a road that was pretty dark for a good stretch of it and, on top of that, my neighborhood isn't exactly "well-lit" to begin with. My new job is actually right next to where I'd get off the bus I took from my old job, so the travel back home has been cut drastically. Still doesn't change the fact that my neighborhood doesn't have too many lights. The sunlight's been waning with each passing day, too.

A few days ago I learned of a new, highly-rated haunted house thing where the premise was that you'd have to go through it alone and it's pitch-dark. In addition, the actors inside the place are allowed to touch you. The video for the thing itself wasn't too scary, but the idea of being "alone" in the dark... holy hell. I've been getting more and more paranoid each night every time I think about it.

The one medium I can tolerate scary things is writing. I thoroughly enjoy creepy short stories and one time I read through a site's whole archive. It was pretty fun, though walking home at night? Not so much.

DAY 78 - Rain

World of Warcraft was my first big MMO and part of the draw for me was the huge, seamless, open world. Once I reached level 90, I spent a couple of hours travelling Azeroth via flying mount to see what there was to see. One thing I've always enjoyed about World of Warcraft was its semi-realistic weather system. Depending on the region you were in, the weather varied from sunny to cloudy to rain/snow. So while I was on my quest to explore every region of WoW's world, every time it rained or snowed, I just stopped to take in the scenery and enjoy myself.

Something about the sound of rain is just... I'm not sure. Calming, perhaps. Soothing. Maybe even a little romantic, which may seem odd. To me, though, it means comfort; staying warm under the blankets while the pitter-pat of the rain hits your rooftop. It's also somewhat nostalgic to me; it reminds me of a time when I was younger, going on long road trips with family or friends or staying inside while on vacation in the Philippines because it was rainy season. We seem to have a knack for visiting the Philippines during said rainy season, and every time it rains non-stop for a week or so. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed myself during that time.

Snow has a similar effect on me. Falling snow, the kind that falls like a feather, is absolutely beautiful, mesmerizing. I remember watching the snow fall after school one evening, when it suddenly started snowing and the buses were all delayed. I don't remember what was happening around that time, but I remember feeling hopeful... or was it longing? I would fall in love with snow even more so after watching an anime movie, 5 Centimeters Per Second.

It's been fairly dry these past few weeks, so my love of precipitation has gone on hiatus. However, Final Fantasy XIV helped remind me. Damn, rain is great.

DAY 77 - Waking Up

Today I woke up about 20 minutes before my alarm clock was scheduled to go off. That's been happening a lot lately for one reason or another, but thankfully I'm never (incredibly) tired during work. This morning was markedly different than the other days, though, because I remembered that my birthday was coming up in a few weeks.

And then I realized that I'd be turning 25. From there my mind jumped around a lot.

I thought about all the things I haven't done yet, like college or living on my own. I'm ashamed to admit that my workout plan hasn't started yet, though I have everything I need to get started. I thought about the future, where I'll be in another 10 years; will I still be here, in the same, old house with the same, old worries about the future? Right now my excuse would be "I'm still young" or something to that effect, but 35... I would ideally have had kids by that point. Settled down, moved out, have a "good" job.

I remembered thinking the exact same thing while I was in high school, still scared about what the future might hold. "Where will I be when I'm 25? Will I be teaching by then? Out on my own, living and doing things by myself (or with someone)?" I thought a lot about how crazy it was that I'll be a quarter-century old. I assessed my life and while I'm no where as accomplished as others my age, I think I'm pretty happy. Or perhaps content is the word?

While at work I realized I've now known one of my friends for exactly 10 years. That may not seem like a feat in and of itself, but I'm still amazed. 10 years seems simultaneously long and short. I'm definitely getting older.

I remember hearing with some regularity during high school that you should do X or do Y because one day you'll wake up and realize you're old and unhappy or whatever. It's interesting that this sort of happened to me, but it doesn't stop me from thinking the phrase is silly. Hm. I ought to try and motivate myself, maybe with another cliche:

I'm not getting any younger.

DAY 76 - Royal

Today I spent most of my time with my family, celebrating the birthdays of my cousin and my aunt. So, going along with this theme, I figured I'd give a little review of the place we went to. I am in no way qualified to make a big review on the place, so take my two cents with a grain of salt. Idioms are weird.

We went to a restaurant, an all-you-can-eat (I think) seafood buffet almost an hour out from my home called Royal Hibachi. Despite the distance, I'd say the place pretty much warrants the trip. As this was a family thing I didn't have to pay a dime, but I've been to the place before and if I recall the prices aren't too bad considering it's all-you-can-eat seafood. In addition to that, the whole process of getting your food is quick and easy; the only time you really have to wait is if you're trying to get a table from my experience. There were times where there were so many people you had to get in line for the food, but even then the line went through the food pretty fast.

Food selection was pretty good. There was of course a large variety of seafood, as well as beef and chicken dishes.In one section of the food area are various soups and another section is sushi; I believe there was also a... I don't know how to put it. Stir fry? An area where you select various ingredients and a chef prepares it for you. I actually haven't utilized that place in the handful of times I've been to Royal Hibachi, but it's pretty cool knowing that I have that option. In addition to the main course foods, there was also a small section dedicated to desserts, including various pastries, fruits, ice cream, and even a chocolate fountain for dipping things into.

The service was pretty good, too, considering how busy it got later into the evening. Our server stopped by frequently and, as such, we rarely had an empty drink or too many dishes crowding the table. Aesthetically, the place was pretty wide open so regardless of the large amount of people, the restaurant didn't feel cramped or anything--quite the opposite, actually. I particularly liked the colors of the place, a sort of dark blue/brown for the floors and I think white for the walls, so it wasn't too bright or too dark; the place felt just right.

All in all, I always enjoy going to the Royal Hibachi. It's a bit of a long drive out but I think it's definitely worth it. A out of 10 stars.

DAY 75 - Hairy

I finally installed Final Fantasy XIV and got to play around with it a bit before going to work. My friend had already shown me the customization part of the game, but now that I was able to take my time with it and fool around a bit, I found it quite enjoyable and far more customizable than World of Warcraft ever was, at least in terms of beginning characters. Looking over the options for the male human character, though, made me realize something.

So a couple of weeks ago I mentioned I used to have really long hair, like down-to-my-waist long. During that same time period, I also tried to grow something else on-and-off, something that FFXIV lacks in terms of character customization (that I've seen so far): facial hair! 

It's kind of funny now because that would essentially spell the ultimate neckbeard, but at the time I wanted to try it out. I wasn't going to go all-out with the facial hair--no fu manchu or anything. Just something to make myself look a little "rugged." Unfortunately for me, my ancestry doesn't quite support the rugged beard-type; instead all I get is some scraggly nonsense. Try as I might, all I get is a light beard. Not the thick, glorious, manly beard but... whiskers.

I also wished I had the type of facial hair that would connect my mustache hair with the rest of the beard. As it stands, it seems that they're destined to be forever apart. I've gotten accustomed to the idea of having X number of ways to wear my facial hair, though, just like I'll have to for FFXIV's beard-age. 

That's not to knock it, though. It's a very, very light complaint, but I thought I'd share it along with my own hair (mis)adventures too. Good night!

DAY 74 - Downloading...

An editor's note, if you will, about yesterday's post: whenever I was referring to FFXIV, I neglected to add the "A Realm Reborn" part. That's somewhat significant because initially XIV came out and it was fairly similar to the its other online predecessor, Final Fantasy XI. XIV got scrapped and most of the original people who worked on it got canned, SquareEnix brought in a new group of people and rebuilt the game. So yeah, a part of me wanted to clarify that so here that is. 

Now I've officially taken the plunge and bought the game! It comes with a month free to play it and see what it's like, so besides the initial $30 investment, I can stop I think at any time. The site is a real pain to navigate, though, and there is a lot of red tape to navigate--and I mean a lot. It took me around an hour to figure out exactly what I needed to do, though I might also attribute that to being tired. 

After a long struggle with registration passwords and client downloads (I literally had to Google the client because it didn't readily appear--as far as I know--on the site. How messed is that?) I'm now in the process of downloading the game. My other complaint now, though it's more on my side, is that it's going to take forever for it to download. I believe it requires 20GB of data and... well... currently, I'm downloading at such as slow pace it'll take about 19 hours for everything. I am a simultaneously patient and impatient person. Part of me feels I'll be okay, but the other part of me is going WHADDAFUQ right now. I'll be heading to bed soon, so hopefully by the time I wake up it's done. 

But man... thinking about this makes me realize how far we've come with technology. I was still in junior high when dial up internet was the most prevalent form of internet. I remember when 1GB was a lot of data. I'm looking forward to the day where a 1TB installation will take a day.

Well, at least for the majority of people. I'm sure there's some lucky folks out there with that kind of speed.

DAY 73 - Return to the MMO

I had a discussion with a friend today about the newest entry in the Final Fantasy series, Final Fantasy 14. Unlike 12 of the previous titles before it, though, FF14 is different--it's a massively multiplayer online role-playing game.

I don't have extensive experience in the MMORPG field outside of World of Warcraft. I've largely played WoW on-and-off over the years with my last foray into Azeroth being their most recent expansion, Mists of Pandaria. Plenty of MMOs have come out to try and dethrone the king, but so many of the so-called "WoW-killers" have fallen by the wayside. A few I can recall right now being Guild Wars 2 and RIFT.

That's not to say that no one plays those games, just that they're not competing with WoW really. Star Wars: The Old Republic was another MMORPG predicted to give WoW a run for its money. I actually gave that game a shot myself and, from my experience with it, it felt like WoW but with the classic BioWare touch; branching dialogue trees, companions and all that. That's not bad, I still thought it was fun... but definitely not worth the subscription price the game was asking for. Apparently a lot of folks thought that way, too, because the game ended up going free-to-play in less than a year and a few BioWare folks resigned. Ouch.

So enter Final Fantasy 14. The game's $30 on PC with the first month free, then the monthly sub fee is $13. Those are pretty friendly prices for any MMO I think, but comparing it to WoW isn't exactly fair; the core game plus all four expansions would run you a pretty penny just to have to pay more to play. My friend told me about characters leveling classes as opposed to characters, meaning you can make one character and be able to play all the classes well if you invest enough time. I've heard that it's also WoW-y, but that doesn't concern me too much because I enjoyed WoW.

I think I'll give it a shot in the upcoming weeks to see what it's like, but if it's feels just like WoW, why not play WoW instead?

DAY 72 - Punk-y

I upgraded my phone over the summer, but I wasn't able to transfer all my old data to my new phone. As a result I had to rely on one of my previous phone backups, but unfortunately the last time I updated was May... of last year.

So I ended up having a lot of old apps and year-old texts, as well as virtually no data in the apps I still had (pretty much games, so goodbye progress). I also had to redo my music selection as well, and I finally just got around to fixing up one of my go-to playlists: alternative rock. Stuff like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco and one band that not too many folks know in the states... Billy Talent.

I first heard of them through a friend I made in high school. He showed them to myself and a few others and we all pretty much got hooked. I've gotten every album they've made so far and I'm always on the lookout for more of their stuff. I think one of the things in particular I dig about BT is their use of harmonies. It always made their songs that much more fun whenever they came up in the car, especially on one of the long road trips we made back in the day. I recall two separate trips to Mall of America in Minnesota, which took maybe four or five houirs by car.

My friends and I were even lucky enough to catch a rare US concert of theirs way back when. I still have the ticket to that show somewhere in my room, but man it was great. I still remember our little group looking like we were the only ones who knew the lyrics to Billy Talent's latest album back then because, at the time, the album had been released in Canada but not the United States. Good times.

Actually, come to think of it, it's been awhile since I've been to a concert. The last one I went to was a P!ATD one, but when I'm thinking "been to a concert," I'm thinking "been in the first floor in the crowd." That Panic! one I sat at because... well, I'm an old man. That, and I didn't think Panic! was exactly "mosh" material. The next thing I'm probably going to is a Paramore concert for a birthday... probably going to sit at that one too, but we'll see. For now, I'll leave you with the Billy Talent song currently in my head: Hanging By a Thread.

DAY 71 -Situations

Tempted to start off with an Escape the Fate reference, but I'll refrain.

Today was a pretty ordinary day in terms of workload. With autumn settling in and the weather getting colder, we're getting less and less people by the day. We've also been due for some rain, and forecasts are predicting a few days of it starting either tomorrow or Wednesday, so it will probably be getting slower. However, it was not the whole day I want to write about today, but more so about what happened in the last hour or so of work.

As I mentioned before, my manager is fond of keeping the same schedule from week to week. It's great because it gives me a framework to work around and all that. On any given Sunday/Monday, I work with a girl who has a really... interesting ex, with a really unhealthy obsession with her. So with that in mind, I'll give you three guesses who happened to show up an hour before closing time.

I didn't notice him at first because cars idled in front of our restaurant all the time and, to me, it seemed like any other car. I was soon informed otherwise by my coworker, who proceeded to panic about the whole thing. The ex sat in his car for awhile while my coworker hid in the back and for awhile I was uncertain what was going to happen. Given the stories I heard about him, I was pretty worried. Was he going to come in? Was he going to just sit there until we closed?

I tried to think of things I could do. She didn't want to talk to him, that much was clear. At one point a customer walked in and I ended up helping him, but that's when the creepy ex came in and for some reason he and my coworker left together. I was later able to see that they didn't go too far; just right outside the door. It seemed like an eternity as I stood nearby, looking over every now and then to see if they were still there and to verify nothing bad was going down.

A ton of things ran through my head. I don't know why, but I ran through a lot of scenarios in my head. Many of my solutions involved cops or stupid "heroism," but I knew they were both adults. Mostly. They could handle themselves fine without my interference, of course. I was just getting prepared for if things got... un-adult-like. I was also concerned over the contents of their conversation, hoping that she wouldn't be somehow convinced or forced back into a relationship with the dude despite him cheating on here with a high school girl.

Inevitably, though, she came back in with a rather upset look on her face. I found out that he told her he couldn't be her friend anymore because "every time [he] sees her, [he] falls in love with [her]," and that she felt terrible for some reason. At the time, it was kind of surreal. I told her that I would be mad if I was in that situation and sitting down here to type this and take it all in, I've become... horribly indignant. Much more so than I was at the time, and it didn't even happen to me!

But seriously, you cheat on someone with an underage partner and you have the god damn audacity to say you can't be that person's friend? I... want to keep this blog profanity-free, but please know that there are at least a dozen f-bombs I'd like to write right now. Holy crap.

Thankfully she didn't take him back. And hopefully it stays that way.

In retrospect, I'm glad I don't have to deal with this type of drama in my personal life because JEEZUS.

DAY 71 - The "Friend Zone"

Yesterday I wrote about how the topic of the "friend zone" seemed to have, coincidentally, destroyed friendships. It all started with me saying that it didn't exist and then it all went downhill from there. Thinking on said topic, I found it interesting enough to write about it, so here we are.

I suppose the first thing to do is define the "friend zone." What is it? It's the situation when one person in a platonic relationship with another person wants to turn it into a romantic relationship, but the other one does not. The concept is nothing new; it's the idea of unrequited love. The term itself seems to have become more popular over the years though, especially with the widespread use of memes every and anywhere nowadays.

So what's the big deal about the "friend zone"? Guys complain about it all the time, about liking a girl and being nice to her and she never ends up reciprocating with a relationship or whatever. 

DAY 70 - DESTROYED

So I'm a dungeon master for two different Dungeons and Dragons groups. The plan is to run a game on Thursday and Friday afternoons into the evening every week. 

Or perhaps, more appropriately, that was the plan.

The original group, the first group I ever DM'd for, looks to be pretty much destroyed as of my typing this. The main reason behind this sounds incredibly trivial, but it essentially boils down to a Facebook status. One of my friends and a player in both D&D groups posted a status referring to a crazy thing he did in the past, but within the status he used the term "friend zone." I'll be writing a blog about that beast later, but here's a preview: I wrote on said status saying that the friend zone didn't exist. 

A mutual friend came in and disagreed, then a whole lot of people commented. One in particular was a player in the first group and in a few words, she's on the far left politically and also not afraid to speak her mind. The mutual friend who disagreed with me interacted with her I guess (I say this because when I woke up, he had deleted his comments to make it look like she was talking to herself), and then another guy came in and started arguing with her in a largely inappropriate manner. After the whole debacle she ultimately defriended the status-maker plus anyone else she was friends with who commented on that status minus myself.

Two of the people she removed were a part of the D&D group. We also hosted the game at her place. So yeah, that group is wrecked. Now I'm sitting here, merging my plans from the first game with the second game and looking over all the missed opportunities, the (hopefully) awesome reveals I had planned, everything. It's really depressing. The whole situation is infuriating as well, because why have that one friend who's a total dick and not do anything about it when he causes trouble with your other friends? 

We'll see how it pans out, I guess. But holy crap, man.

DAY 69 - Downward

Walking home from work today reminded me of something I used to do as a kid. Sometime during my elementary school years, for one reason or another I always stared directly down at my feet while walking. 

Maybe it was because I found the repetition of foot-after-foot entertaining. I certainly enjoy things that seem repetitive to others, like MMOs (mostly WoW) or JRPGs. I tend to grind like crazy in games like Fire Emblem or Pokemon. So perhaps it was repetition? 

Maybe it was because I was a shy kid. I grew up without a present father to pass on to me the "masculine" things, to teach me to be "a man." My mom is a nurse but she worked nights, so she was usually asleep whenever I was home from school. I didn't get a lot of experience with people really. Come to think of it, I didn't have more than five friends until perhaps the middle part of high school, which... seems really sad, ha. But in the end I learned how to fend for myself and I got myself a small group of friends I can trust, so it's not so bad.

Somehow, though, I stopped doing it. I think I just got tired of it in the end, that I should look up so that I could look and, perhaps, feel confident. I remember struggling with looking forward for awhile after I decided because, after all, habits are hard to break. In fact, I still catch myself doing it every so often; though moreso because I find the repetition interesting. 

If I kept that posture longer than I had, I think I would have had even worse back/neck aches than I do today. Oh lord.

Eric

DAY 68 - The 13th

Today is Friday the 13th. How spooky!

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today, though. I'm not a superstitious person (at least I don't think so), it's just that it would  have been interesting if something had happened. In my view it wouldn't have changed anything, but it would have been perhaps amusing to have suffered from a case of "bad luck" on the supposed unluckiest day of the month.

I was a bit curious about the reasons why the number 13 is so feared, so I googled it. A quick read on Wikipedia revealed a number of things, mostly that 13 was associated with some not-so-good things such as the busted 2012 Mayan apocalypse theory, the Code of Hammurabi supposedly omitting a 13th law, and in the Bible, Judas was the 13th apostle to sit down at the last supper. The Code of Hammurabi, as it turns out, was not numbered originally and the lack of a 13th was more due to a person who transcribed it as such; similarly, apparently there was never a real order recorded that the apostles sat down in.

I also found in my research an interesting story about Ireland involving their vehicle plate registrations. As the story goes, the first two digits of a normal vehicle plate in Ireland represented the year the vehicle was registered on; so if an Irishman's car was registered in 2011, its plate would start with 11. In an effort to avoid lower car sales due to the superstition around the number 13, the Irish government decided to utilize two different numbers for this year's registered plates: 131 and 132, with the numbers representing cars registered in the first and last half, respectively, of 2013. This story reminded me of how certain buildings lack a 13th floor or a 13th room.

On a related note, one of the first reasonable explanations I've heard for fear of certain numbers comes from my brief experience with Japanese. In my first couple years of college, I studied Japanese language and culture and did decently well in it. One of the first things you learn is how to count, but the number in question is for 4. In Japanese, one pronunciation for 4 is "shi," which is also how one would pronounce "death." Looking into the fear of numbers, I learned that 9 was also considered unlucky in Japan because its pronunciation--ku--is the same way a person would pronounce "suffering." As a result, these numbers tend to be both avoided and replaced with different pronunciations (yon and kyuu respectively).

It's amazing how folks do so much just to avoid a particular number, ha.

DAY 67 - Home Alone

I woke up alone today. I don't mind it as it tends to happen often, but it does remind me of a creepy story I read a couple of years back.

In it, the protagonist spent his time alone in the basement of an apartment complex, working on some project or other for work. Occasionally he'd leave his room to get a drink or walk around the place, and every time he was alone. No one around; no one in the halls, seemingly no one in their rooms, not a single car nor pedestrian on the street. At one point he got either bored, paranoid or both and hid his webcam somewhere in the hallway outside his room so he could see who might be coming.

The order gets a little blurry to me, but later he gets a strange email or series of panicked emails that prompts him to try and contact some people, both online and through phone. After a number of attempts with each one getting weirder or creepier, I think his so-called best female friend tries to get in touch with him. The main character gets more and more paranoid and the best friend eventually shows up with the police to try to get him to come out peaceably. I won't ruin the ending, but hot dang was that a good story.

When I first read it, I remember the house being really, really quiet. I hadn't received a text or a message at all while I read, and it seemed like nobody was online, so a combination of the story and my own personal situation amplified the creepiness.

That's not to say that being alone is scary to me, but I suppose it's more of the idea of being alone and knowing/thinking that you can't talk to anyone ever again sort of thing. I spend most of my time after work in my room alone, but I know people are around to talk to somewhere. Technology is great. Well, except in the story I was talking about.

Anyway, I'll be heading out now. I've got some things to do, hence the afternoon post.


Eric

DAY 66 - FIGHT

In lieu of talking more about not-happy things, today I'll be talking about... fighting games!

Not that I am particularly versed in the series, but I am a fan. Enough of a fan at least to have purchased a fight stick and to be contemplating modding it a bit for some personal flair, though cosmetic things are obviously not indicative of knowledge.

Back in high school and maybe early college I was really into a fighting game known as Guilty Gear, made my Aksys . I played extensively on pad because I was poor and couldn't afford a glorious fight stick, but that didn't stop me from doing pretty decent. I went to at least one tournament, Frosty... something or other, to support one of my friends and I played against a few tournament-goers. Long story short, I got my ass handed to me, but I still had fun. Unfortunately, Guilty Gear back in the day had some ownership issues and as a result, Aksys stopped coming out with new iterations of the game.

Fortunately for us, however, a spiritual successor popped up a bit later known as BlazBlue: Continuum Shift. My friends and I got pretty deep into that game, partly because of its similarity to GG (although it was slower in speed) but also because of it's crazy convoluted story. The game and its story mode was pretty well-crafted and I particularly enjoyed the fact that each character had their own story, not to mention that I was actually pretty decent at the game. It got even crazier in its later editions, but unfortunately my friends and I moved away from fighting games for awhile--enough to miss a whole version of the game.

Then flash forward to a year ago in August, when Persona 4 Arena came out, also made by Aksys. I had played Persona 3 in high school and 4 last year and loved them, so I was a little... well, pumped for this game. The idea of moving RPG characters to fighting games might be seem weird, but I loved both GG and BB, so I figured I'd give Arena a shot. And let me tell you... it was pretty fun. Unfortunately, when I picked it up I was unable to devote a lot of time to it due to varying complications, but recently they announced a sequel to it featuring more new characters, so I'm hoping to jump back into the fighting scene and get CRAZY SALTY. (That means mad, because I get mad at video games.)

Anyway, that's enough for now. I'll leave you with a list of characters I played (in order) and call it a day.


Guilty Gear Accent Core +
Main(s): Slayer, Baiken
Second Sub: May, Millia
Third Sub: I-No

BlazBlue: Continuum Shift
Main(s): Hazama, Ragna
Second Sub: Makoto, Jin
Third Sub: Mu-12

Persona 4 Arena
Main: Naoto
Sub: Yukiko
Third Sub: Chie

DAY 65 - Grasp

I've been thinking about life and death and all that happy stuff since yesterday's news. It's certainly popping up a lot, especially with what the media is hyping up as a possible "World War III" scenario. I'm pretty skeptical about that whole thing, mind you, but it's the implications--war and death--that have got me thinking.

I don't want to spend this post waxing philosophical. I've got about 25 years of life experience, but I haven't spent years on the subject of "what it means to be alive" or whatever to have a logical, reasonable point of view. One of my friends once said that there's no point in arguing over things that neither party knows extensively about. I'm inclined to disagree with that partially, but the sentiment remains: what's the point of talking about something you know nothing about?

What I do know is that life is precious. I think that folks are taught this idea at one point while growing up, whether that be by a teacher or parent or by the reality of a situation. I remember hearing from somewhere (though I'm not quite sure from where) about kids thinking their invincible when they're young, that you'll live forever or something like that. That made sense to me because I could--hell, I still can relate.

I'm still relatively young, though I'm starting to feel smaller aches and pains. I'm already past the age where famous people I grew up with are starting to pass away; Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston are a couple of bigger examples. Right now I'm that age where people I've actually been in contact with or know through other people are passing away, and soon... you get the idea. I haven't really ever known the experience of losing a loved one. I think I'm both blessed and cursed for this fact because... well, I don't know how to deal. I can still understand to an extent the death of a friend's loved one because of basic empathy: I try to imagine if the same thing happened to me and it just breaks my heart. It breaks my heart real bad.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing, to realize that no matter how many letters you write or calls you make to a deceased person, they won't be there. Or no matter how many times you go to their favorite cafe or bookstore, you'll never see them again, no matter how badly you want to. In a word... it's awful, but I don't think anyone doubts that.

DAY 64 - Remembrance

Today I learned that a teacher at my old high school passed away. He died in his sleep last night after a fight with cancer.

I never had a good reason to approach him because I never had him as a teacher nor as a coach, but one teacher I did have for the majority of my high school career was friends with him so I saw him a lot anyway. Whenever I saw him he always seemed so energetic and happy, cracking jokes with my teacher and the like. Those among my friends who did know him spoke nothing but positively about the man; indeed, he was a beloved and important teacher to my high school and its community.

Looking through the Facebook memorial page was no different. People spoke of him so kindly, so fondly. Despite my never knowing him personally, I always liked and respected him, and I'm sure there are countless others like me because he was just that kind of guy.

Thinking back on my high school days, I feel... well, how that saying goes. "Taking things for granted." It's not so much that I thought he'd be around forever, but I never expected him to be gone so soon. Then that other saying comes to mind... Why do bad things happen to good people? An eternal question it seems.

I intentionally keep things vague in on this blog to protect myself and others who may be associated with me, but doing it this time would feel like a disservice. So... Rest in peace, Mr. Horyn. 

DAY 63 - PPD

Originally I was going to get a gym membership and start working out tomorrow, but as I was thinking about it today at work I realized that the pieces weren't properly aligned. In baseball terminology, PPD refers to a game being postponed either because of weather or some other circumstance. So unfortunately, that's what'll be happening to my workout plans.

I have a couple of things I need for my workout--the money for the membership and, well, my person. In order to help maximize my exercising though, I need to get a protein supplement because, as it turns out, I have very little access to protein through my daily life. Another thing I need to do is finalize my workout plan by sorting out which exercises I'll be doing and looking up their proper forms so as to not hurt myself in the process. Oh, and speaking of hurting oneself, I'm scheduled to take a delivery for my workplace on one of the days I'd work out, so I think not piling on the lifting would probably be good for me.

Also clothes is another important factor. I don't have the proper workout clothes besides some old high school P.E. clothes, so I'd like to upgrade those. And though it's more of a personal preference than a needed... thing, I'd like to have headphones that can stay over my ears while I work out so it won't be bored/utilize to be a more effective workout (e.g., running to the beat or taking a short break during X or Y song).

Despite the list, I'm not entirely unprepared for the workout. I ordered the headphones a few days ago and I also placed an order for protein powder and a shaker bottle thing today. I have about half of what I need before I can finalize my workout plan, and I have the days set out: Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I have some good songs to use for my exercises and I've also been dieting to prepare. But perhaps the most important thing is the motivation.

So next Monday, the 16th. That's the date. I should hopefully have everything in by then, but if not I should have most everything. Will see how it goes, hoho.

DAY 62 - Dizzy Diet

The past few days I've been getting dizzy at seemingly random. That is to say, I can be doing something like sitting at the computer typing something up and be fine, but later I start getting nauseous and have to lie down for an extended period of time.

I thought I knew what was causing it, but I think it might be in relation to being hungry as well. In preparation for my working out next week I've been looking up a proper weight-loss diet. I was able to estimate how many calories my body needs per day and, using that knowledge, have aimed for my diet to be 20% less; in this case, I think it was 1500/1900-ish. As such I think my body is still trying to get used to the lessened calories because, in one instance, when I ate some leftover chips I felt a little better afterward. Hopefully it'll stop in time for my first workout, because I doubt being dizzy while lifting free weights is a good idea.

Speaking of diet, it's either because I never really paid attention to calories or because I didn't know how many calories I personally needed to get by, but holy crap is everything so... calorie-ful. As I previously mentioned, my target calorie goal is ~1500; my break at work alone was around 1000 or so! I was really surprised to say the least, but also a little worried about how my diet will pan out in the future. I need to look up general calorie counts for things because I don't think I'd be comfortable asking folks at restaurants how many calories X or Y product is... at least not yet.

I also need to focus on eating protein foods because that's what is supposed to make you feel "full" as well as help build muscles. I plan on buying a protein powder supplement thing that I'll mix in with water or milk because, as it turns out, I have very little access to protein. The site referencing for the needed protein is about 1 gram per pound of your weight, and I think the total protein I'm going to have today is 50-60g. So waaaaaaaaaaay less.

Talking about it all is making me both excited and nervous, ha. Anyway, that's enough out of me today. More diet things to come, hohoh.

DAY 61 - The First Step

I mentioned nearly a month ago that I wanted to start working out and was going to ask some folks if they'd be interested. Turns out that answer is a lazy "no," as in "Well..." or "I don't know..." so I'm going to run it on my own.

While I'm no stranger to attempts at getting fit, if I had to compare it to relationships, I'm probably more of the acquaintance than anything. A friend of mine who was on cross country in high school gave me tips on running and, for awhile, I followed them, but... running around in my neighborhood always made me feel conscious. Stupid reason, perhaps, but it's a reason. I worked out at a gym earlier in the year (or perhaps late last year) however and, surprisingly, I actually really enjoyed it. 

Sure, I'm out-of-shape and most of the folks there, well, weren't... but working out in an area where others shared a similar goal to be fit made me feel pretty good. So next week starting September 9th I'll be starting my workout program. 

Like I've said, I generally have no idea how to workout. Thanks to some quick Google-fu, though, I was able to find a seemingly legit guide that didn't try to lie to me. Everything in the guide matches up with what I know or heard of in regards to working out, so hopefully it'll work out. And yes, pun intended.

With that in mind, I need to form a workout right now so I'll post it here in a bit once I get it down. I am a total noob so it'll probably look lackluster, but I plan on adding more to it over time. I gotta lose that fat and gain that muscle! If all goes according to plan, perhaps I'll make a before/after thing about it... but there I go again, living in the future.

Yes, baby steps indeed.


Eric

DAY 60 - Samurai

A long, long time ago I had an equally long amount of hair. To illustrate, I am about 5'9"-5'10" on a given day, and at that one point in my life, my hair went down to my waist. After I finally got it cut, it measured out around two feet, though that was shoulder length and not the total length of my hair. But yes, I hope you get the idea here: it was real long.

I don't know why I kept it so long for an equally long period of time, but I did. I guess part of me hated getting haircuts; I'm particularly ticklish on my neck area, so I always hated getting the short "masculine" hair cuts. I was always stupidly conscious about that too, which probably contributed to that as well. Additionally, I was a combination of poor and lazy because, despite having a job at the time, the hours were really crappy (maybe 20 or so on a good paycheck) and I was nowhere near a hair cutter (because I don't drive).

Though in retrospect I probably spent way more money on shampoo than I would have on haircuts.

Still, it was both a pain and, to me at the time, a pleasure to have such long hair. It was fairly easy to manage because of my Asian (or Pacific Islander) heritage, which meant crazy straight hair without having to try. I was also savvy enough to know to shampoo and condition, so my hair was generally nice. One of my coworkers at the time used to call me "samurai" because of the long hair and me being Asian (or Pacific Islander), and perhaps that's why I kept it so long. Not because of him, mind you, but because it made me feel kind of like a samurai. Kinda cool.

Of course, a few years and a few years later, I knew I was completely and utterly wrong. It was an awful, awful idea. That's life, I guess, haha.


Eric

DAY 59 - Rage

Last night I got a lot more sleep than I normally did. Usually I get about 6-7 hours of sleep, but last night I think it was more along the lines of 10. I can't say I was particularly tired over the last few weeks, but for some reason I just fell asleep way earlier than I normally did. So with that in mind, I thought I would feel more rested or generally just better.

While I don't recall feeling sleepy-tired, I do recall feeling a lot of something else: anger.

I'm not sure why. Every little thing at work just angered me a lot more than it would have on any other given day. The same things happened today that would happen any other day, but for some reason it just set me off. Thankfully I never got mad at a customer; usually I settled down as soon as I started talking to one. It was always just a flash of unbridled rage for some reason or another.

It got to a point where I started getting mad at things that weren't even at work, like thinking on bad times when I should have gotten angry or been angrier at the time. It sort of devolved into a "why me" situation, which is never a good thing. After I had my lunch break, though, I started to settle down mentally. It's interesting... sort of like the Snickers deal, hm.

I don't think I tend to get mad often. I think if anything I let a lot more things slide, which is strange considering today. The only times I remember getting mad are at video games or at people being terribly stupid, but there was none of that at work today. Maybe next time I'll just have a light snack or something, that seemed to do the trick today.

Oh god, that sounds like weight getting ready to be added. 

DAY 58 - Daydreams

In high school a couple of friends and I were fans of a show called Scrubs, which, for those who have not heard of it, was a medical comedy/drama. It aired all the time on Comedy Central at random points during the day, so whenever it was on I'd watch and it was pretty great.

The initial main character was a doctor nicknamed J.D. Often throughout the series, J.D. would daydream, often in the middle of conversations, where he would then imagine something usually outlandish for comedic effect. It made sense as the story was told from his point of view and, from what I recall, the series used these types of jokes often but not so often that they were a nuisance or distracted from the main story. Now that I think about it, they poked fun at J.D.'s daydreaming, when the narration was handed over to other characters in the show. When one of those characters interacted with him, he'd look off into space and the other character remarked about how he was doing a stupid face and probably daydreaming.

I mention this because it came up while I was, well... daydreaming. I think I tend to daydream quite a lot. Perhaps not as vividly as the good doctor did, but enough to take me out of reality for a brief moment and distract me--though whether that's good or bad is a different story. 

But yes, today in particular I was thinking about older folks and comparing their relationships with relationships that young folks have. I've always pictured the latter as super-mushy, or passionate or emotional or something to that effect whereas the former, I've always pictured as calm or quiet. I know that's probably not right, or at least it wasn't always that way, so I imagined an older couple acting like a high school couple for instance. 

I'm not sure if the right image is popping up in your head right now, but I'll also add that it's nothing but chaste because... yeah. 

I never finished Scrubs, I don't think, but I'd certainly like to get back to it. Except that last 9th season, maybe. I believe it featured a mostly all-new cast and from what I understand it wasn't too good, but will see how that pans out.

Happy Tuesday.

DAY 57 - Labor Day

Today is (or was) Labor Day, and boy are my arms tired! 

That's actually a true statement and not a joke. My arms are somewhat sore and my feet are kinda aching, but that's generally what it's like after a day of work.

Yes, I celebrated the day the United States celebrates those who work by taking the day off and not working... by working. Furthermore, the job I have currently doesn't do time-and-a-half, and it's the kind of restaurant that should be open 24/7, 365 days a year barring any freak accidents. And to top that all off, I also missed out on a family barbecue hangout thing today, which is made even worse by the fact that one of my cousins who goes to college three hours away was also in town for said barbecue. 

But despite all that negativeness, I don't really feel mad or angry with my situation. I suppose it's because I'm used to it, as the theater job I held before this restaurant gig was very similar. Open every day of the week, even holidays and all that. The silver lining in this new job, though, is that on holidays we might be able to close early and... that's what we did! A whole hour early, which doesn't make a huge difference (I still didn't make it back in time for the barbecue), but it's still one more hour for me to get home and relax... and to type this, of course.

I started thinking about my reaction to today and my past experiences with working on holidays and things. My old place was pretty strict about everything. If you can't work a particular day for a holiday reason despite putting it down on your availability, that was grounds for termination. 

Man, just writing that down makes me realize how terrible that job really was. Anyway...

I've missed out on a lot of things: birthday parties, family gatherings, even Christmas or the turning of the new year. Thankfully my boss at the restaurant is fairly generous for days off, so long as I do it ahead of time, so hopefully I won't have to miss anymore important things. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but I'm feeling optimistic. 

DAY 56 - Drowning

Happy September!

I figured after talking so much about rain yesterday and how much I enjoyed it, I should talk about the negatives of water and one time where I almost drowned.

I'll preface this by saying I took swimming lessons for several years as a kid. I vaguely remember hanging on the to edge of the pool in a part of the then-deep end for a second-grader me, my feet on the wall of the pool. I'm not 100% sure on how I felt at the time, but I'm pretty sure I was terrified. Ultimately those lessons never stuck.

So fast-forward to a 15-16 year-old high school me. I was at the local pool with some friends and they decided to go to this one big slide. I think it's about two stories up, so naturally the pool below would have to be deep to make sure no one would get hurt. At this point in time, nothing had changed in regards to my swimming skill 7-8 years later, but for whatever reason, I was convinced (by myself or otherwise) that I would be fine despite not really knowing how to swim.

We got in line for the slide and I recall being a little nervous. We climbed through the line and one by one my friends went down the slide. Eventually it was my turn. I figured I would be okay, "I'll probably be close to the edge or something so I can grab on to that." So I took the plunge--literally.

It all happened in a flash. I hit the water and sunk below the surface. I opened my eyes in the water saw nothing but darkness below; not the pool's bottom that my feet had grown so accustomed to, but just darkness, and I immediately felt uneasy.

I eventually rose up to the surface, but I was nowhere near the edges of the pool like I thought I would be. Naturally, I panicked. I tried to kick towards the nearest edge, however, like I said before the swimming lessons never paid off, so I ended up going nowhere, probably flailing more than swimming. My inability to swim started to drag me down into the water and I had trouble breathing. My fear was mounting and morbid thoughts began to fill my head, but just as suddenly as I had gotten myself into that situation, I was saved by the lifeguard.

Ultimately I had to fill out some form about the incident, which was in itself kind of embarrassing in retrospect. I think at the time though I shrugged it off and got back into the water (short end, of course).

I think back on that time every so often. It's where I usually go when I think about drowning; just fear. Though sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I wasn't saved in time.