DAY 55 - Thunderstormin'

The last few weeks have been pretty dry, dry and hot. So of course we were due for a little rain, and boy did it rain hard yesterday. 

I think the storm lasted a little over two hours, but it was rough. I was in the middle of a nap when it started raining. I keep a window open in my room during the warmer months and usually when it rains, that particular window doesn't let water in. Yesterday, however, the storm was so strong that the window's curtain flapped around violently and I got hit by some water, which promptly woke me up. 

I shut the window and went into the living room to check it out, and it turned out that it was raining so hard that it looked like it was the middle of the night instead of late afternoon. The lights were flickering and, at one point, my internet went down. My house is generally lucky enough to be a higher elevation I think, so we managed to avoid flooding. Unfortunately, others weren't so lucky.

I also heard a lot of dinging on the awning and, as it turns out, it also hailed during the storm as well. It was so bad that my friend who works drive-through at a fast food restaurant told me that he got pelted in the face at work in the brief moments he had to stick his head out.

On my way to work today I got to see the aftermath of the storm personally. Lots of strewn leaves everywhere, but also tree branches. At the end of my block was a fairly large branch that looked like it could have stopped traffic; I assumed it actually was in the middle of the street and folks moved it there. Around the halfway point from my house and my work, I saw an even bigger branch in the middle of the sidewalk. It was big enough to block two lanes, which is crazy. 

Across the street from my work is a park. A large part was cordoned off with police tape because a few medium-sized trees got blown down by the storm and you could see exactly where it snapped. The lights on the main street were also out, so it was way darker by the time I got out than I was accustomed to. As it turned out, half of the streetlights on my way home were also out.

Despite the destruction of the storm, I couldn't help but think how cool it would be to sit outside during one of those storms. Not just me without any rain gear or anything, of course. I imagined sitting in a small bubble or perhaps something like a phonebooth, staring out in the storm and marveling at it. I've always enjoyed rain and thunderstorms. Something about it is calming--soothing. It's something I wish would happen more often!

Eric

DAY 54 - A Bugs STRIFE 2: Electric Boogaloo

I've been thinking a lot about bugs lately, partly because of the sudden warm-up at the end of summer. There was a good amount of time where it was sub-80 I think and all the bugs were napping, but now? They're everywhere. Cicadas have a particular fondness for showing up at my feet. Creepy bastards.

Mostly, though, because of one of my friends' houses. He's always had a cockroach problem, even after living in three different houses over the last two decades or so. It's really messed up when you can't go a minute without seeing one. It's gotten to the point where I need to make sure that, if I bring a bag, it needs to be sealed at all times and that, when I leave, I have to shake my bag down. I ain't risking that, no way no how. 

The last few times he's brought video games over to places, I've always seen a roach or two crawl out of it. It's usually killed on the spot, but holy crap. I've danced around the idea of fumigating his house a couple of times, but I think if I'm ever going to go there again, I'm going to want to push it. Maybe he's used to it, but I don't know. What I do know, though, is that it's simultaneously gross and annoying.

Eric

DAY 53 - Timeline II

It's been a couple of days since the last entry. I was originally intending on doing the parts in order, but I severely underestimated the length of the whole thing. Holy crap.

But I digress. The next timeline post will start getting into custom stuff, oh my! But in the meantime, let's continue, going on with the Dawn Age today.

---

For this timeline, there are seven major parts as follows:

• The Mythic Age
• The Dawn War
• The Dawn Age
• The First Imperial Age 
• The Sealing War
• The Second Imperial Age 
• The Modern Age

The Dawn Age

"The Dawn Age was a time of mortals rising up to dominate the world after the gods retreated to their astral dominions. The chronology of events during this time is extremely shaky. Without inter-event references, it is difficult to determine whether an event occurred before or after another event."

Derros:

Derros are descendants of a mad, power hungry civilization that nearly ripped apart the planes when the world was still young. Craving primordial power but unwilling to bend their knees to any master, the derros create portals to the Far Realm in hopes of harnessing its power. The madness and horror they unleash cause the World Serpent to drag their lands beneath the surface to halt their machinations. 

Devils:

• Asmodeus consolidates his rule over the Nine Hells. 
• Bensozia, once a bride of He Who Was, is taken as Asmodeus' consort and gives birth to Glasya. Bensozia teaches Glasya to hate Asmodeus. 
• Moloch and other archdukes rebel against Asmodeus, manipulated by Malagarde and Beleth. The rebellion fails and Moloch is exiled from Hell. 
• Geryon replaces Levistus as the Lord of the Fifth. When the other Dukes try to overthow Asmodeus, he remains secretly loyal and betrays the betrayers. For reasons unknown, he is still deposed and exiled by Asmodeus, who elevates Levistus in his place. He finds himself in Tytherion, where he becomes lord of other exiled devils. 
• Levistus slays Asmodeus’ consort, Bensozia. Asmodeus imprisons him in a massive iceberg in Stygia. 
• Glasya, Asmodeus's daughter, is elevated as Lord of the Sixth shortly after Geryon's elevation without serious opposition after she slays the Hag Countess and usurps rulership of Malbolge. 

Dragons:

• Dragotha, a red dragon consort of Tiamat, compacts with the human priest Kyuss, promising him immortality in exchange for the dragon’s service. When her spawn slays him as a punishment for slaying one of Tiamat’s sons, Kyuss raises Dragotha as a dracolich, betraying the pact made with him. 
• Ancient dragons master the power of arcane magic and use it to shape the world around them. Brown dragons that serve as exarchs and demigods of Tiamat found the great empire of Maru-Qet, which lasts for “thousand of years”. Those days of limitless power do not last and the mighty dragon sorcerers soon fall. The last pharaoh of Maru-Qet, Nefermandias, wages a war against cataclysmic dragons, which ultimately destroys the empire, transforming the verdant lands into an arid desert. 
• At Tiamat's instigation, the dragons fall upon one another, with chromatic and metallic battling for dominance. 

Dwarves:

After the Age of Chains, dwarves build impregnable fortresses in the mountains to guard the treasures they wrested from unyielding stone. Their fabulous wealth drew greedy monsters to their doors and precipitated a series of wars whose results were ruin and death. Their fabulous kingdoms fell and their people scattered to the world’s four corners. Among the strongholds the dwarves build are:

• Bordrin's Watch 
• Gar Morra, the City in the Deep
• Ironstone 
• Mountainroot Temple beneath the Stonehome Mountain
• Overlook

Fey:

• Eladrin Empires are founded by the eladrin, including the Anauli Empire, the magic academy Callanar, the ill-fated Cendriane Empire, the Realm of the Twin Queens, and Solaneillon. 
• Gremlins are made by the fomorian king Thrumbolg in the aftermath of his assault on Mag Tureah. 
• Harpies are formed when an evil elf witch-queen is exiled by a hero who breaks the magic tiara that allows her to spy on her subjects as a golden eagle. 
• Mindaris, the greatest of eladrin heroes, has his legendary adventures. 
• Mother of Scarecrows sacrifices some farmers to a devil and learns the secret of animating scarecrows. 
• Nymphs are born from the union of the Archfey of the four seasons and the Archfey of the four winds.
• Orbs of Dragonkind are made by eladrin to protect their empires and overthrow their dragon overlords. 
• The Summer Court is made by an archfey. One of his daughters, Sharaea, falls in love with a mortal. To escape an arranged marriage, she makes a deal with the Raven Queen that she and her lover would be thrust into the future to a time when her intended would agree to release her from her promise of marriage. The betrayal transforms the archfey into the Prince of Frost. The ring of betrothal cast away by the eladrin maid becomes the ring of winter.
• Serpentine Owls are fashioned to serve as companions and scouts for the first elves who travel the world. 
• Sovereign Elk, a powerful archfey, imprisons an exarch of Zehir in a prison that exists at a juncture of the Feywild and natural world.

Gnolls:

Gnolls dwell in a single location before spreading out across the world.

Gods:

• Bahamut hides his immortal essence in a platinum sword he hides in the natural world. When Tiamat commences the War of Dragons, Bahamut awakes his immortal sword in the form of a deva named Amyria. 
• Bahamut seals a rift between the World and the Abyss, and in that place was build the city of Karga-Kul. An order of dragonborn paladins of Bahamut found the elite group known as the Knights of Kul to watch over the seal.
• Bane slays Tuern, and reclaims the former's domain of Chernoggar as is own. 
• Bane plots to rule over all other gods. Erathis and Moradin oppose Bane and he backs down. 
• Gruumsh invades and binds his domain of Nishrek to Bane's. The invasion occurs thousands of years after Bane kills Tuern. 
• Bane subdues the god Maglubiyet and makes him his exarch, after the hobgoblin Senekos converts many goblinoids to the worship of Bane.
• Corellon gifts mortals with the power to perform arcane magic.
• Corellon and Gruumsh fight over some mortal followers. Corellon shoots out Gruumsh’s eye with an arrow. 
• Gruumsh and Kurtulmak steal Corellon's Misty Isle, hiding it somewhere Corellon could not locate it.
• Melora withdraws completely for generations, her whispers silenced. She passes the time hunting alone in Arvandor. 
• Tiamat and Zehir struggle for millenniums over control of Tytherion. Tiamat occupies the underground, while Zehir retains the surface world.

Halflings:

Avandra adopts halflings and gives them good fortune.

Hobgoblins:

Senekos converts many goblinoids from the worship of Maglubiyet to the worship of Bane. Hobgoblins carve out an empire with goblins and bugbears as servants. They develop magical methods to breed beasts for various purposes. The empire falls due to civil strife and possible fey interference. 

Illithids and Gith:

• Nihilath is the mind flayers' empire which stretches through the Astral Sea and the Underdark and was created after they arrive from the Far Realm. They use the gith and the duergar as slaves. 
• Gith are created when the illithid attempt to create the perfect slave race, through selective breeding and magical manipulation. The slave race revolts and name themselves after the leader of their rebellion.
• Tu'narath, the gith's capital, is founded in the Astral Sea within the floating corpse of a dead god. 
• Zerthimon, a gith who desires peace, rebels when Gith declares an eternal crusade against the illithids. After much fighting, Zerthimon leads his people into the Elemental Chaos. His followers become known as the Githzerai. 
• Tiamat compacts with Gith, giving the support of red dragons in exchange for her soul and the souls of all future leaders of the githyanki. 

Minotaurs:

Minotaurs establish the great city of Ruul, a model of civilization. Agents of Baphomet work in secret to undermine Erathis’ followers. The minotaurs break from Erathis’ fold and the Horned King overruns Ruul. Melora and Kord then destroy the city.

Shadar-Kai:

A tribe of humans make a pact with the Raven Queen to be her servants in exchange for a shadowy form of agelessness. Some shadar-kai cut their ties to the Raven Queen, placing themselves above the gods. They broker with the Shadowfell’s dread powers, offering their shattered souls in exchange for the power to move freely between worlds and do as they please, and become the "gloaming dancers". 

Sigil:

The Xaositects form as a philosophical faction in the great planar city of Sigil, studying chaos to master it. 

Thri-Kreen:

The Thri-Kreen lived in nomadic tribes for thousand of years. 

Yuan-Ti:

Proto-yuan-ti found the Empire of Zannad, mastering flesh-contorting magic to improve themselves and become the modern yuan-ti. The magic warps their minds, and their society slowly rots from within. They construct a pyramid structure in homage to Zehir, called "Sarpacala". Some humans, calling themselves the Hastani, are slaves of yuan-ti who worship a demon called "Merrshaulk". They escape when the gods destroy the sect.

DAY 52 - Dawn

An early post, how interesting! The reason for that is a simple one.

Today was my first day doing "delivery" at work, which basically refers to taking in food deliveries and restocking our fridge and freezer. It was as easy as it sounds, though I'm a little tired from all the lifting and a little surprised; tired because some of those boxes can get pretty heavy and surprised because I thought the whole affair would have lasted two-three hours. Turns out it was a little under one. Granted, one of the managers was there and did one part of the delivery, but I don't think that would have lasted more than 20 minutes tops, let alone a whole hour.

The main thing I wanted to talk about though is an observation I made. Everyday that I have to work, I walk because it's literally within 10 minutes from where I live. I almost exclusively close, which starts around 3-4PM depending on the given day, so whenever I go to work it's in the middle of the afternoon when people are finishing their day jobs or school and whenever I go home it's when people are or are about to go to sleep. 

Working this super-early shift at 6AM, of course, is the opposite: people are just waking up and getting ready for the day as I headed to work and folks are heading out by the time I got home. Of course the contrast is huge, seeing as they're the complete opposites of each other, but it was just interesting to me. The mood was completely different going and leaving work for this small shift than it is for my usual; today felt, I don't know, hopeful or perhaps more energetic whereas at night it's quiet and... well, not dull, but there's not as many folks up and about.

Since leaving high school and taking mostly late-morning/early-afternoon college classes, whenever I wake up in the morning I just lounge around or go somewhere I want to go, so it's been awhile since I've had to go through a whole routine to go do morning work. I'm not sure if it's me being tired that's talking, but perhaps I am a morning person after all.

Eric

DAY 51 - Beach

I was thinking about what to write today at work and my mind hovered back to summer. Recently it's been getting hot, like summer hot (well, in terms of northern Illinois heat; definitely ain't Florida heat probably) despite it almost being August. The summer as a whole here was actually pretty cool temperature-wise, but now I'm feeling it. Waking up feeling hot and sweaty is not the best feeling.

While I was thinking about summer being over, it occurred to me that I never once did one of the quintessential summer things to do: go to the beach. I'll be the first to admit that I: a, can't swim and; 2, don't have a great summer body, I always find it fun to go to the beach with friends or something and just hang out; swimming optional. 

In retrospect it probably all goes back to my schedule, but I occasionally had a day off where I had no obligations. But then there's friends' schedules... lining up everybody's free time is mega-hard. I suppose the fact that I had to think about the beach, though, shows how much of a priority it was for me. It still would have been nice to hang out with some friends.

Though, come to think of it, summer isn't quite over yet... Ha. We'll see. 

Eric 

DAY 50 - Restless Redux

Usually I'm able to get out of a restless funk but, unfortunately for me, it seems to have carried over from yesterday. I've been thinking about what's different from the last couple of days and when I started feeling this way, and I suppose there's a number of things I can point to.

For one, I've been listening to things like Panic's newest single and the S1 opening for Oreimo. I found recently that I really enjoy the group that performs the latter, Claris. Despite me not knowing Japanese well at all, it's something about the voice and the emotion in all their songs that just gets at me. It's something I used to feel all the time growing up in middle school and high school. I suppose the same thing can be said for Panic, too.

Secondly, there's a handful of important decisions for me to make very, very soon. Mostly the school thing and what I want to do with myself and all that gooey goodness. I've said before that I generally don't put myself in situations where I'd be anxious or worried, so perhaps my lack of experience with the feeling is making it all the more terrible. 

And thirdly... well, work. Work mostly. That's all I've been doing lately. By the time I get home, I usually watch something, play a game or something. Maybe work on D&D things. More often than not, though, I fall asleep. Then I wake up and go to work, rinse and repeat. This... is what I've grown to disdain. 

I don't hate my job. The people are nice, the hours are great. I get paid and all that, I get to buy food and things I want. That's more than a lot of people the world over can say. I suppose I'm just bad at managing my time, or maybe enjoying it. Right now it just doesn't seem worth doing for the rest of my life. Hm.... 

I still need to find that thing that makes me happy. 

DAY 49 - Restless

Ever feel like you want to do something but you have no idea what that is? I used to get that regularly and they were always semi-intense. I remember one particular summer-like night when that happened and, compounded with the heat, well... that combination did not make for a happy me, no sir.

It's back tonight, though, and boy is it frustrating. I have the urge to do something, anything, but I can't for the life of me figure out what that is. I mean, I have plenty to do: currently I have games I have yet to beat on a multitude of platforms, there's plotlines I need to write for my D&D campaigns (as well as that timeline that I am simultaneously working on), and there's shows or videos I wanna watch but... the mood doesn't strike me. Which is a damn shame because all that backlog ever does is grow.

I know I shouldn't complain. If there was ever a competition for the biggest first-world problem out there, this would definitely finish in the top three if not take the gold. I mean, "wanting to do something but not knowing what" hardly compares to "how am I going to pay for [IMPORTANT THING] this month?" but yes. Still plenty frustrating.

I recently watched The World's End and, lemme tell you, it was pretty good. I won't spoil it too much, but the one of the main ideas was something that I could relate to. I think I've mulled on this topic in one of my posts here--or thought about posting, but I've talked about that before already--but it's the idea of moving on, or coping, or getting somewhere. Right after the movie, I got home and heard about an apparent NYSNC reunion performance on the VMAs. I found the subsequent video on YouTube (I'd link but I bet it's going to be down by tomorrow) and that took me way, way back.

So now I'm feeling rather... mixed, I guess. Perhaps it's too much conflicting feelings at once that's making me feel this way. Or maybe I'm just putting too much thought into this and I really just want to do something... or perhaps both?


Eric

DAY 48 - Rivalry

I attended a high school that shared it's name with another high school across town. As you can imagine, there was a fairly big rivalry between are two schools; I was, er... lucky enough, I suppose, to be at my school during the time where I believe we started dominating our rivals, after years of the opposite being true.

Being a naive person and having friends who generally didn't mingle with others outside of school groups, I never really knew anybody outside of my own high school. Folks from our rival school I pretty much regarded as "them." It's interesting to me, then, that after so many years after high school I wound up being friends with a big chunk of people from that school. I don't know why that's a big deal, but for me it's a little surreal I guess. 

I generally thought of the rival school like, "Ooh, they're the enemy! We gotta beat 'em, woo," during the spirit weeks and all that. Granted, I never attended any non-mandatory spirit week events and, granted, the only time I think I went to a game was during homecoming week after I had graduated and we were mostly just visiting friends who were still there, so I was never really, enthusiastically for my school against this rival school. Still, it's a little surreal after being surrounded by folks all those years going "GRR RIVALS." 

Looking back on it now, my school life has generally seen a setting of a rival-like entity or entities, then during the next transition I end up being friends with those kids anyway. Elementary school was like that, middle school was like that and, ultimately, high school was like that. 

Thinking about stuff like this is always interesting to me, ha.

Eric

DAY 47 - Nervous

When it comes to things that I've done before or things I should be familiar or comfortable with, lately I've been feeling a bit nervous. I'm not sure why exactly.

I don't think I'm normally a nervous person. Shy, maybe, but nervous? I guess I would attribute that to being generally laidback, which I would attribute to my lack of decent judgement on situations and all that other stuff. I guess I tend to avoid things that make me feel, er... not-good. I think that's a reasonable thing to strive for generally. Though, of course, it's good to get yourself out of your comfort zone often to grow as a person.

Hm, maybe that's the thing. If you grow as a person by putting yourself out there, what happens when you withdraw? Would it be reasonable to say that you diminish yourself as a person? I suppose that interacting is a lot like anything else, really. Both the idea of practice making perfect but also not putting it to use constantly results in decay. Rust.

Strange thought, I guess. Still doesn't make me feel any less nervous, but I suppose it's something to chew on. 

DAY 46 - Timeline I

Alright, so breaking away from the self-analysis or "memory lane" posts for now, today's post is going to be mostly about something I haven't talked about in detail for awhile. What is that, you might ask? Well, you'll regret it because the answer to that question is...

DUNGONES AND DREAGINS. So exciting.

A week or so ago I told my players I would be constructing a timeline of the world, but time was not on my side. With work and sleep taking up 2/3rds of my day, the only thing I've been able to do is read up on the default/core world's setting's timeline which was conveniently outlined by some folks on the D&D forums. Kudos and a big thanks to them for helping shape what you (read: me) are about to see.

So yes, if you are into fictional backgrounds and timelines, I hope you'll enjoy the following. I'll generally be lifting from the default source material, but it will start to deviate once it gets into more recent times. Also, when I first went into making this thing, I thought it would have been a little less... er, long, so as a result I'll be breaking it into three different pieces over the next couple of days. Or weeks. Holy crap this is long.

It feels like a cop-out, urgh. But I'm putting work into this! Anyway, I'll make the appropriate links for the table of contents when the time comes. Today I'll be covering the Mythic Age and the Dawn War. 

---

For this timeline, there are seven major parts as follows:

• The Mythic Age
• The Dawn War
• The Dawn Age
• The First Imperial Age
• The Sealing
• The Second Imperial Age 
• The Modern Age

The Mythic Age

"The Mythic Age was a time of myths and legends. So far back in time, most events were remembered only in distorted tales and conflicting traditions. This was a time where the gods were still very active in the world." It ended around ten thousand years ago.

In the beginning, there was a point of infinite potential. A tiny disturbance caused this epitome of perfect to erupt, splitting existence asunder. From the detritus coalesced the Astral Sea and the Elemental Chaos; the gods arose out of the Astral Sea and the primordials arose from the Elemental Chaos. Other lesser entities also arose during this time, such as angels, slaads and djinn.

In the Astral Sea:

• Various gods such as Corellon, Erathis and Zehir attempt to end in-fighting among the gods. 
• Amoth and Moradin create the first maruts, constructs that serve as impartial arbiters and later enforcers of divine pacts. 
• Maruts develop and spread the language Supernal throughout the Astral Sea.
• The goddess Khala gives birth to the gods Kord, Tuern and Achra. 
• The god Nerull becomes the deity of the death domain.
• Corellon, Lolth and Avandra create Arvandor.
• The Lattice of Heaven is created, its purpose to link all of the gods' astral dominions together.
• A nameless god kills the guardian of the Living Gate, releasing the defiling energies of the Far Realm. The gods Ioun and Pelor seal the gate shut at the cost of Pelor's dominion, Verdant.
• Shardminds assemble themselves from the shards of the destroyed Living Gate.

In the Elemental Chaos: 

• Djinns are the most advanced society of all the elemental races. 
• Primordials create various creatures such as titans and hell hounds.
• They also create the world with the help of the titans. However, the world was one of elemental fury, engulfed in an endless cycle of destruction and rebuilding.
• The bright and dark pieces of leftover creation-stuff form the Feywild and the Shadowfell respectively.
• Fomorians and Death Giants are the Feywild and Shadowfell's respective versions of the Titans

Gods and the World:

• The gods look down from the Astral Sea and see what the primordials had created. They covet this world because they understand how to make it better.
• The attempt to improve on the primordial's work by creating natural life, taming the churning elements, and creating the sun and moon in the world.
• Primal Spirits come into being.
• Devas form when some angels, out of love and desire for the mortal world, make deals with the recently awakened primal spirits and give up their true immortality. 
• The deity He Who Is creates humans.
• The deity Io fuses astral spirits with raw elements. The greater spirits become dragons while the lesser spirits become dragonborn, the latter serving the dragons.
• Lolth creates the art of weaving after watching spiders make their webs, becoming a deity of fate who wove strands of mortal destiny.
• The deity Maglubiyet creates hobgoblins. 
• The deities Melora and Sehanine create halflings.
• Moradin chisels dwarves from the bones of the earth. Shortly after creating the dwarves, legends state that Moradin creates a divine beverage, not realizing his creation is watching carefully. 
• Erathis gathers the greatest tribes of all races to the plains, where she inscribes the first laws in stone. 
• Erathis and Melora work together to improve the mortal world. Melora and her hunters protect the cities as well as the wilderness from aberrants and from deities that crave destruction, such as Baphomet, Gruumsh and Yeenoghu. Partly as a result of this protection, cities prosper and their citizens develop skills, knowledge and an outlet for their creative urges. 
• Sahuagin are born from a chasm deep underwater when the god Sekolah kills a great behemoth of the deeps and, in his victory, sings a song that shakes all the ocean. 
• Jackalweres are created when a primal spirit, Dark Sister, transforms an almost-extinct pack of jackals.
• Zehir, unable to properly create his own race, convinces Avandra to teach him how to alter the creations of others. Avandra does so, but attaches a condition that Zehir may do so only with the creator's permission.

Gods and the Feywild:

• Corellon discovers the Feywild and creates elves to inhabit it. The name of this unified elven race is contested, but the most commonly accepted story claims that the elves arose from the Corellon wept from sorrow, beauty and mirth during the days before Lolth's fall.. From sorrow's tears rose the dark elves, from beauty's the high elves (eladrin), and from mirth's the wood elves. 
• Corellon, Lolth and Sehanine head the fey pantheon unchallenged.
• The oldest fey spirits become the Archfey. Some are noble eladrin so old and powerful that they have transcended the bounds of mortality. Some are awakened spirits of mighty forests, mountains or rivers. 
• Lolth, to restore her place as Corellon's favored, beguiles an eladrin knight and weaves a glamer to make him look like Corellon. She then has him seduce Sehanine, who conceives a child. Corellon, enraged by Sehanine's infidelity, dooms the child to remain at the pool where she was conceived until the day when she might give her heart freely to another. Sehanine gives her daughter power over the night and powerful magic. When the knight learned how he had been used by Lolth, he hurled his mystic weapon into the pool and vowed never to fight again.

Gods and Primordials Interact:

• Balcoth, a primordial, finds the impressionable minds of mortals fascinating.
• Titans create giants to serve them, taking inspirations from the smoother, symmetrical creations of the gods.
• Envious primordials demand dwarves of their own. Pleased that the primordials appreciate his creations, Moradin gave generously and returned to his work. Unfortunately, the primordials give these dwarves to giants, who then use them as slaves. Moradin either cannot hear their cries over the sound of his own hammering or cannot face the wrath of so many primordials alone. Thus began the Age of Chains. 
• Some dwarves infuse with the elements, becoming forgeborn dwarves, galeb duhr azers and eisk jaats.

The Dawn War

"The Dawn War occurs when the primordials and gods clash. The primordials are manipulated by the Chained God, who is driven mad when he grasps the shard of pure evil. According to the gods, the primordials plan to destroy the world and create something new, so the gods intervened. The gods fight to save the World and their mortal servants. Each god selects an aspect of creation to champion and care for during the war, defining their domains. The primordials, who vastly outnumbered the gods, thought they would easily win, so they did not organize armies."

The Shard of Pure Evil:

• As the name states, the shard is made of pure evil. Beings within its proximity to the Shard transform, corrupted by the evil energy. 
• The Chained God finds the shard and grabs it. He falls mad with a desire to unmake reality. Luckily he has enough sense left to partially repel the whispers of the Shard telling him to put it in the Astral Sea and instead plants it in the Elemental Chaos, resulting in the Abyss. The shard exists at the very bottom of the Abyss, "digging" further down and creating more layers as it descends. 
• In an alternate universe the Chained God succeeds in destroying reality. The remnants of the destroyed universe coalesced into aberrant creatures called the sharn, eventually finding their way into the Underdark of the World.
• The being Juiblex is created when a mass for fluid and solids comes into awareness due to the shard. Later, the creature retreats to a plane known as Shedaklah.
• Primordials and the Chained Godbattle for control of the Shard and the use of it, but the two forces reach a stalemate.
• Obox-Ob claims the Shard and becomes the first Prince of Demons. Seeking to replant it in the Astral Sea, he is soon unseated by a combined effort of the newly-transformed demon lords Demogorgon, Orcus and Baphomet, who blast him down into the surface of the Elemental Chaos, creating the Blood Rift of the Abyss. The Shard still burrows deeper to this day, creating more layers of the Abyss.

Choosing Sides and Making Allies: 

• Abominations are made by both the gods and primordials as war weapons.
• The divine beings come together in a great assemblage, surrounded by hosts of angels, the races of the world, and other creatures and beings. The greatest of the gods' mortal agents in that war were invokers, imbued with a fragment of the gods' own might to fight alongside them.
• Aquatic giants abandon the primordials and begin to worship Sekolah, an exarch of Melora. Astral giants ally with the gods as well.
• Astral warwings and other astral war engines are made by the gods to fill out their armies and counter the chaotic creations of the primordials.
• The astral domain Carceri is created by the gods as a laboratory to spawn abominations to serve them in the war. The gods also create runes of unmaking.
• Dao and efreet elect to remain neutral.
• Djinns ally with the primordial against the gods.
• Doppelgangers are believed to be made by Sehanine from reshaped elemental spirits. 
• Elementals are made by primordials out of elemental spirits.
• Giants ally with the primordials.
• Medusas are believed to be made by Zehir from reshaped element spirits. 
• Minotaurs are created by Baphomet, a great primordial-turned-demon-lord, as his soldiers in his bid to replace Melora as the god of nature. 
• Nagpas are created by the primordials.
• Glaur is a stronghold built Nehushta, a primordial, to serve as one of the central fronts in the Dawn War.
• Pegasi are the offspring of a great god.
• Rot harbingers are created by Orcus to mock a failed attempt to kill him.
• Primordials develop the Godslayer Infernos, which consist of torrential elemental spells that tear away the divine essence of a god. One such spell churns white and violet flames that prevent a deity from discorporating and suppresses its immortal nature. 
• Primal Spirits remain neutral. Some of them, such as Stormhawk, help keep the world from being destroyed. Other Great Elders protect the people caught in the crossfire, allowing the humanoids' survival. 

The War Begins:

• The Elder Elemental Eye marshals the primordials and other denizens of the Elemental Chaos in order to try to overwhelm the combined might of the new Demon Princes. Some, such as Codricuhn and his chief lieutenant, Miska the Wolf-Spider, join EEE in the Abyss and are corrupted into demon princes. Others, such as the Elemental Princes, spread the cult of EEE. 
• The cult believes that if the Elder Elemental Eye could gain the Shard of Pure Evil, he could lead them to victory over the meddlesome gods and immortals of the Astral Sea.
• He Who Is and other gods overwhelm and chain the Chained God away in a deep layer of the Abyss, striking his real name from the annals of history and naming him the Chained God. His armies are scattered but not defeated. They are led by Miska and fight on. Asmodeus is assigned by He Who Is as prison-keeper of the Chained God's tomb. 
• Shortly thereafter, the gods give the angel Alusiel the Ebon Stone, telling the angel that the stone held the essence of the Chained God, though it doesn't. 
• Haramanthur, a god, is tasked with the protection of the Astral Sea against incursions of creatures from the Elemental Chaos. 
• Io first refuses to become involved in the Dawn War.

Battles:

• The primordials invade the Astral Sea and destroy the Lattice of Heaven and steal the Rune of the Stone Eternal, the mechanism that serves as the power source of the destroyed Lattice,  hiding it from the gods. 
• The god Achra defeats Tabrach-Ti, the Queen of Bronze. She is the first primordial to fall. Achra begins to be called Bane from then on. All of the All of the gods agreed to work on an united front, under the command of Bane.
• The Master of Tides, another primordial who sought to wreak havoc and destruction between the planes, is one of the first primordials to fall.
• Amoth and Orcus, Demogorgon and Rimmon fight in Amoth's dominion of Kalandurren. Though Amoth manages to destroy Rimmon and nearly slays Demogorgon, but Orcus strikes him down and his realm becomes a shattered land of fear. In the days following the battle, specks of bitterly cold light begin to rise from Kalandurren's landscape. The light forms semisentient creatures that fuse the wrath of the slain god and the fury of the dead demon lord. The creatures disperse the cosmos, fueled by an insatiable desire to destroy immortals and elementals alike. 
• Yeenoghu reputedly creates his signature triple flail from the bones of a god he slew during this war.
• Moradin goes into battle to liberate the dwarves from their elemental masters. He aids the other gods in the war by supplying weapons and armor. He also makes Clangeddin Silverbeard an exarch. 
• Clangeddin Silverbeard makes two fine axes and melds into them the strands of his own silver beard. He shows the dwarves how to cut the giants down to size, and offers the titans the gift of fear.
• Dwarves deliver a blow that cripples the giants, betray their masters and unleash the fury of a hundred generations of repression. Moradin gives the Axe of the Dwarfish Lord to the first dwarves.
• Gildur and Toris Irontop, a pair of dwarven champions and twin brothers fight fiercely until they confront Durandus, "the Iron King." That night, after a vision from Moradin, they become the soulforged, and defeat Durandus. After their victory, the brothers gather the most pious followers of Moradin and teach them what they learned, forming the first generation of the Soulforged knighthood.
• Haemnathuun, the Blood Lord primordial, is slain. His corpse is cast into the Astral Sea. His black blood filled the maze of tunnels which will eventually become the Keening Delve. 
• Heur-Ket, a powerful primordial, invades the Astral Sea unchallenged until he is stopped by Pelor, Erathis and Ioun when the gods fuse their dominions together. The fused dominion became the city of Hestavar.
• The deity Kord defeats the primordial Tantagaras in single battle. Later, Kord challenges the dread slaad lord Ygorl, but the two fight to a standstill and Kord retreats.
• Melora defeats the primordial Cryonax to gain mastery of the waves. Cryonax is then sealed in a deep trench underwater beneath Melora's great stone shield.
• Miska seeks out and corners Obox-Ob in the Abyss, following him all the way to a portal that would lead them to the Shard of Evil. The demon lord Queen of Chaos appears and slays Obox-Ob, and then recruits Miska in return for her aid to defeat the gods.
• The Elemental Prince of Fire Imix, bound to the Chained God, throws his forces against the god of the forge, Moradin. Moradin smites the corrupt primordial, casting the squirming prince down to the Elemetnal Chaos where he would later be bound in adamantine chains. 
• Mual-Tar the Thunder Spirit seeks to reclaim the skies from the gods who had claimed them. The gods drive it back into the Elemental Chaos, where Moradin chains and traps it.
• Orcus creates his wand from a god of virtue and chivalry, or from a human hero. Later the gods attempt to kill Orcus with a host of angels while he was away from the Abyss, but the attempt fails. 
• Shom, the God of the Word, dies, leaving his dominion Shom without a deity. Ioun gifts its inhabitants, the Illumians, with two syllables of the Word of Creation so that they may continue Shom's work. 
• Io, seeing creation at the brink of collapse, joins the fight. He defeats many primordials during the war.
• The elemental princes Sisanthak and Vorsheen turn on one another in the Astral Sea, creating the astral motes called "Frostburn." The gods enchant the mote so the inhabitants do no realize how long they have been battling.
• In the latter days of the Dawn War, archons and other elemental soldiers begin forging increasing numbers of weapons, having learned the value of such tools from followers of the gods. They found the mines of Irdoc Morda.
• In the final years of the Dawn War, in his arrogance Io faces Erek-Hus, the King of Terror, alone. The primordial cleaves the dragon god into two halves which become Tiamat and Bahamut. The dragon gods slay Erek-Hus, then battle each other until Tiamat flees. 
• Io's violent death causes a rift between the planes. Haramanthur realizes the only way to prevent the primordials from using the rift to invade the Astral Sea is to close off the way with own essence. He sacrifices himself by turning himself and everything around him to stone to seal the rift. 
• Catastrophic dragons form after some dragons, seeing Io destroyed by Erek-Hus, believe that the gods would lose the war. Rather than follow Tiamat or Bahamut, who they regarded as weak and selfish, these dragons turned to the primordials for leadership. The primordials embrace the defectors with welcome arms, transforming them into manifestations of chaos and destruction.
• Bahamut pursues the primordial Nihil into the living god realm Lakal and slays it there. The dragon god's divine breath shatters Nihil, but this results in the shattering and death of Lakal. The quom, Lakal's followers, dedicated themselves to "unsundering" Lakal.
• The gods lure Balcoth from his place of hiding by creating a hardy-minded race, which would take him longer to corrupt. By the time he succeeds, the gods find him. Bane severs his head, Moradin fashions a prison for him, and Bahamut mans its garrisons.
• A great and powerful primordial, Timesus the Black Star, travels to the Shadowfell to feed o nthe departing life force of dying entities to increase his powers in the place known as Death's Reach. Nerull and other gods create Nerull's Gate to gain quick access to this place. Timesus was defeated by the combined might of several gods.
• Torog, a god of perfect health and for whom any injury healed almost instantly, defeats the primordial Gargash, but not before being cursed with horrific injuries and constant torment. Torog is then binded to the Underdark.
• Volunt, a defeated primordial, is cast into the plains of the Shadowfell, where the shades there tear him apart, leaving only the Darkreach Mountains behind.
• An exarch of Moradin and seven angels of Bahamut known as the Wind Dukes of Aaqa craft the Rod of Law in Torzak-Belgirn, the soulforge of Moradin. With this Rod, they strike down Miska and the Queen of Chaos, the latter who dissipates into the Abyss, only to return at another Abyssal Eclipse (which occurs once every millennia). Though the banishing of Miska to an unknown plane causes the shattering of the Rod of Law into the Rod of Seven Parts, their fall turns the tide of the war for the gods' favor.
• Baphomet pursues his erstwhile ally Yeenoghu when he flees the field and throws himself into the Abyss rather than submit. 
• Near the end of the Dawn War, seven brethren angels fall in battle. Three manage to return to He Who Is. The god cannot save them all, and instead fuses them into one: Geryon. 
• Nagpas betray the primordials when the gods' victory is imminent.
• Kord slays the primordial Sehil in the final battle of the Dawn War.

Wars Within Wars

During the Dawn War, other wars erupted among the gods, primordials and demons.

The Death Wars:

• Nerull chooses a mortal queen who died of plague as his consort. She slays the god and usurps his throne. The other gods rise up to stop her, but she becomes the Raven Queen. Some of Nerull's priests found the cult of the Seekers. 

The Kinstrife Wars: 

• Lolth may have descended into the Abyss in search of power and become corrupted by the Heart of the Abyss. She leads her chosen people against the other elves.
• The Raven Queen allies with Corellon. After the conflict, she takes the domain of fate from Lolth.
• Elves break away from the eladrin and depart for the natural world. They settle into forests of the World and are commonly known as wood elves.
• Eladrin remain in the Feywild to rebuild the ruined kingdoms. Some eladrin refuse to participate in the war and flee to the natural World.
• Boreanis, an alchemist, crafts nine bronze griffons for nine eladrin lords as gifts for the esteemed heroes of the Kinstrife Wars.
• Drow are banished into the Underdark after this defeat.
• Winterkin are eladrin who retreat to the Winter Lands following the Kinstrife Wars.
• Corellon and Sehanine leave the Feywild after the war to fight alongside the other deities in the Astral Sea.

The War of Betrayal:

• Pazuzu, a demon prince, whispers words of deception and corruption into Asmodeus' ears.
• Asmodeus grows proud and hateful of his position as prison-keeper, and seeks out the Shard of Evil instead, abandoning his duty. Claiming a sliver of the shard of pure evil, he creates his ruby rod and fights his way back to the Astral Sea. He Who Is allows Asmodeus back into his forces.
• Bane takes on Asmodeus as an advisor. Bane is the only deity who predicts Asmodeus' rebellion.
• Devils are created by He Who Is from Asmodeus and his followers for allowing too many innocents to die in battle.
• Narzugons, servants of He Who Is, are tricked into betraying He Who Is and damning them to serve Asmodeus for eternity, despite their hatred for him. 
• He Who Is is slain by Asmodeus, becoming He Who Was. He Who Was binds Asmodeus to eternal prison in Baator, the once idyllic plane of Baathion. Asmodeus seizes his former overlord's divinity and creates a rigid hierarchy of power. Having devised a way to subbert and harvest mortal souls, the devils also require infernal pacts to breach the bindings of Hell. Even still, he hungers for a larger fragment of the shard of pure evil. 
• Alloces, an angel, begins defending He Who Was, but eventually turns traitor and joins Asmodeus to eventually become his chief inquisitor. During the War of Betrayal, he serves under Geryon.
• Geryon leads the forces of He Who Was into an ambush on the Bridge of Storms and then turns on them. He becomes one of Asmodeus' greatest generals. 
• Brother Eiulo, possibly the last servitor of the deceased human creator He Who Was, pens a massive tome called the Codex of Betrayal.
• Zehir, who may have aided Asmodeus or killed He Who Was himself, claims humans as his own. The other gods defeat Zehir and free the humans from his control.
• The gods, desperate for Asmodeus' skills, compact with the archfiend, granting him autonomy in return for his aid in defeating the primordials.

The Blood War:

• Grazz't, Asmodeus' most trusted advisor, is sent to the Abyss to seize the evil seed within but the evil of the Abyss corrupts Grazz't and makes him a powerful demon lord. When Grazz't's invasion is stalled, the archdevil surrenders to the plane's corruption. Glasya, Asmodeus' daughter, descends into the Plain of Yawning Pits to punish Grazz't and complete his mission, but Glasya is routed.
• Glasya stabs Grazz't, creating the babaus.
• Bulezaus are spawned by Baphomet during the Blood War as a race more vile than the minotaurs, many of whom had become civilized. 

The Winter War:

• Khala, goddess of winter, tries to become the Queen of the Gods. Leading an army of evil gods including Kord, Gruumsh, Tiamat and Zehir, and primordials, she casts a long wintrty night over the world. She is opposed and eventually defeated by Pelor, Moradin, Bane, Asmodeus, the Raven Queen and a repentant Kord.
• Moradin battles Kord upon the heavenly mountains and across the world. Kord unleashes his full fury but succeeds only in wreaking terrible damage on the land and its mortal inhabitants. When Kord takes a moment to renew his strength for another blow, Moradin calls his attention to the wanton destruction. Kord regrets using his might so carelessly and destructively. Soon after, Kord launches a direct assualt against Gruumsh and crushes his erstwhile ally.
• The duergar legions of Tor Zarak fight and capture Kord. He is brought to the deepest vaults of the city, but priests could not cause him pain. The clerics of Asmodeus construct eleven racks before they could extinguish Kord's mortal shell. Then they disassembled the rack and split up the pieces, intending to use the fragments as weapons should Kord or his followers seek vengeance on the duergar.
• In exchange for power over winter, the Raven Queen banishes the defeated goddess Khala into death. Kord was present at his mother's passing and may have also claimed some of her power. Later, Kord and the Raven Queen begin an unconsummated courtship that continues today.
• When the Raven Queen claims the winter domain, the primordial Umboras, a reluctant ally of Khala, leads the assault against her astral realm of Letherna. She pretends to flee before his forces, luring them to the domain Pandemonium. There, in the labyrinthine corridors of the realm, she separates Umboras from his host of dragons and titans and traps him in one of the domain's empty vaults, where he still remains.

The War Ends:

• The gods win by banding together in small groups and destroying the mightiest primordials, who usually operate alone.
• Primal Spirits realize the gods' danger to the world after the Winter War, and decide the world must be protected from both sides of the conflict. The gods, too exhausted to object and fight another war, retreat to their astral dominion. 

Aftermath: 

• Avandra, Corellon, Melora, Sehanine enchant Carceri so that any abomination that escapes is sent to their dominion of Arvandor and instead joins the Great Hunt. They then retreat to Arvandor and away from the other gods.
• Bahamut, Kord and Moradin, after a series of unseemly incidents in the early centuries of the joint occupation of the astral dominion of Celestia, create the Game of Mountains to channel their rivalry into a friendly competition. 
• Bane is upset that the gods refuse to follow him after the war and angered by their decision to allow the Primordials to live on.
• The Raven Queen abandons her dominion in the Astral Sea to inhabit a grim winter fortress in the Shadowfell.
• Death's Reach, the mechanism for ensuring spirits of the dead were sent to their final reward, is grievously disrupted. Unable to restore Death's Reach to its former function, the gods transform it into a storehouse to seal away dangerous artifacts and enemies from the war. 
• Demons who manage to flee the Abyss come to natural world.
• Djinn are bound into mundane objects as punishment for warring against the gods. Those few djinn who are free lose much of their power. 
• Dwarves are placed in the natural world and immediately develop ale. 
• Erathis assumes dominion over the minotaurs.
• Grave-Minders, a cult originally dedicated to watching over the prisons of the primordials, is founded within a few generations of the Dawn War.
• Nerras are created from a group of powerful invokers known as the Sect of Seventy, who believe that the gods are too detached from worldly affairs to protect mortals from the threats that linger in the aftermath of the Dawn War.
• Pandorum, a godslaying weapon that personifies the emotionless void of utter annihilation, is imprisoned. 
• The Princes of Elemental Evil except Imix escape to the far reaches of the Elemental Chaos, where they remain in exile.
• Sagawehn, a goddess of insects, attempts to destroy all individuality from Arvandor until a group of eladrin heroes kill her. A high priestess of Corellon who is overcome in the battle spawns the lamia.
• Supernal tablets rumored to contain knowledge of either the fate of souls that pass beyond the gods' reach or the ultimate fate of the cosmos, are lost. 

DAY 45 - Patient

"How can you be so patient," my coworker asks after handling a particularly annoying customer, and I wonder if this is true.

For me, so long as the "annoying" person in question seems kind or apologetic, or if the situation they're in is not their fault, I don't mind. It's hard to be angry or mad at someone who doesn't know what they want to order or someone who forgot just what exactly their friend or their relative wanted to have in their particular order. I don't fault the person if they speak too softly or too loudly, or if their kid is acting up.

I don't mind it when people are late because of some last minute thing they had to do or if they ran into unexpected traffic. I always have something to do, whether that be listening to music, playing a game, thinking about some story idea or whatever. My mind is always running, whether that's a good thing or not. If a person's upset and lashes out at me or someone I know, I don't hold it against them. People do crazy things in the heat of the moment.

Perhaps it's because I hope that others would afford me the same kind of patience. Who can say they've never been in a situation like that? I don't think anyone, generally speaking, wants to be a hindrance or a bother to another person.

After all, we're all just folks trying to get by, so why not show a little kindness?

Though...

"I think you've become more impatient," my friend told me awhile back after we'd caught up a bit, and I suppose this is true.


Eric

DAY 44 - Back to School

It's that time of the year again: back to school. 

I'm getting to be that age where less and less people I know are going to school still. I have two younger brothers who are both in high school now, with the youngest starting his first day yesterday. I went to the same high school as they're going to now, and it feels like just yesterday I was wandering the halls, eating in the cafeteria with friends, or reading manga or browsing the internet in one of the computer labs. Nostalgia aside, though, I am one of those unfortunate folks still going to school. 

Well, kind of.

My schooling situation is... not good, I don't think. I've taken several years off and I've gone to school rather sporadically. Currently I should have graduated and possibly be in graduate school if I had stuck with it, but right now I believe I have the same amount of credits as maybe a college junior? Bad, I know.

I never really knew what I wanted to do. Actually I thought I knew, at least twice: being a writer and being a teacher. The former I got discouraged with but the latter was more or less rushed. I think it was fueled by an intense desire to return to something I had known for what felt like the longest time, or perhaps to return to something that I had fond memories of. 

Mostly I didn't know what the hell to do and, as I was being pushed out the gate, I felt like I needed to make a decision. Unfortunately at the time I felt that decision was one that would also set my path for the rest of my life. I learned much later that this was definitely not the case and that not everything pans out the way you think it will, but now... I don't know. 

I'm pretty sure I need to go and finish college, get a degree to get a high-paying job to be secure and be able to support a family in the future. Well, while maintaining my somewhat-minimal lifestyle. I've been leaning toward business management as of late, but this all might be like my "decision" to be a teacher; going with something that's familiar. I mean, after all, I've been in the business for the last... almost-decade.

We'll see. I was just informed that my current college apparently started this week, which is never a good sign. I'll let y'all know what happens.

Eric

DAY 43 - Coping

Yesterday I briefly mentioned that there was a topic I wanted to write about that day, but instead I got sidetracked by my worry over it possibly being a repeat and my interest in writing about my whole writing process. That topic was supposed to moved to today, but as it turns out blogging, like life, is never so simple.

I got home from work today, doing all my post-work rituals: put used socks/work shirt in laundry thing, turn on computer, have a snack while watching some YouTube video. Unfortunately, as I sat down to enjoy a burger, all I saw on my computer was a message and a prompt: 

"Windows was unable to start up. Would you like to select a system restore point?"

I opted not to restore and instead waited for perhaps ten or fifteen minutes as my computer attempted to repair what was wrong with my computer.  Ultimately the repair failed to find a way to repair what was wrong, but it turned out that nothing was wrong and my computer started up normally anyway.

I am no computer expert despite the fact that I built my computer. (Essentially it was like any final or mid-term; cram cram cram, and then the knowledge mysteriously vanishes.) So as I was watching the repair bar and eating my food, I was mostly bothered at first and a little anxious to get on and write this blog. 

I thought about that attitude for a little bit after I caught myself in that mindset. What if my computer really was busted and I would have to get it repaired? What if I needed to buy new parts or, worse, a new computer entirely? While the worst-case scenario was highly unlikely, the idea that something was actually wrong never really occurred to me and I was treating it like a minor annoyance.

I then remembered back when I was a kid. maybe middle school, when my mom got really, really. And I mean sick. Hospital sick. "She-actually-could-have-died" sick. "She-needs-to-undergo-brain-surgery" sick. In retrospect it was a really, really scary time. 

I also remember being yelled at for playing around too loudly at home with my cousins by my step-father, who chided me for not realizing how serious my mom's condition was. Thinking back on all of this now, this memory in part further solidifies my view on my step-father, but mostly makes me wonder about how I cope with bad news. It's good to take some things in stride but it's also important to realize the gravity of any given situation. 

What if my mom... I don't want to get into that. Not even in writing. Screw that.

Pulling this post back a bit, I'm going to work on how I deal with things. Little by little.

Eric

DAY 42 - Processing

[Insert reference to the blog's number here because it's always topical.]

42 to 365 doesn't seem like a lot, but when it comes to things with a decent amount of content, it is actually quite the opposite. There are a good amount of posts I remember writing, but admittedly there are those that I often look at with mild surprise thinking to myself, "Oh, I wrote that? Well shoot." If I would have to name one post in particular, it's the one about the cash shop possibly coming to World of Warcraft.

Interestingly I wrote a lot more on that topic than I do some others, but I still managed to be somewhat shocked about writing said post. It's not so much that I don't care about some things I write here more than it's that other posts are more meaningful to me. That and if I was either really tired or kinda distracted during the post, but that's in the same vein as retaining knowledge in general.

I mention this mostly because as I was trying to figure out what to write about tonight, I could have sworn I had already written something about a particular topic. As it turns out I was totally wrong, and instead I'll probably be writing about that tomorrow.

I chose not to write about my intended topic today because I started thinking about my whole blog-writing process and how writing about that might be interesting. On any given day, I generally don't think of what I will be posting--that is to say, I don't dedicate hours to the whole shebang. If something interesting happens during the day, that event sort of branches out into several other places in mind, usually a memory or my feelings on the event. The process could repeat multiple times, but when I find something interesting or something I want to explore via writing, I blog about that. For those days where nothing really interesting happened and I have to sit down and think of something, I usually go through anywhere between 2-5 drafts of differing topics.

So what happened today was the result of those two things. I had something set, but given the way I write some posts, I had the distinct impression that I had written one on X topic already. I don't doubt that I did, but in retrospect it was probably one of those drafts that didn't make the cut.

Still, it's still pretty interesting to think you have something set but then, after a series of events, change into something else entirely. At least to me anyway.


Eric

DAY 41 - Staying Late

I work evenings and in most cases it's to closing time, which is 11PM. I usually get out right on time as myself and the person I close with do all the necessary closing things ahead of time. It's been convenient for me thus far, as I've been able to come home, eat something and then sit down and type this lovely blog.

Today, however, was not the case.

My newer coworker has been at the restaurant for about a month now, but she only gets a few days a week. She's sort of slow when it comes to doing the things she needs to do, but for now I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and attributing the slowness to her lack of work/experience . As a result, when closing time came, there was still a small amount of things we had to do.

All told, it would have kept us maybe 10 minutes later which isn't bad at all. And besides, I don't know about you but I don't mind staying after to finish up closing, seeing as it also milks the time clock a little more to get that extra dollar. I used to do that all the time at my old job if I could help it.

However, she lives a little bit out and relies on taking the train home, which is understandable. It's just that the train stops running at around 11, so she pretty much had to leave right then. So work that would have taken 10 minutes for two people, well... became 20 minutes for one person--me.

Thankfully I live about an 8-minute walk from my job, but I still got home around 11:30. It puts a little strain on this blog here. Perhaps I should look into posting in the day, hm.


Eric

DAY 40 - Sight

I woke up without knowing where my glasses were today and let me tell you, it was nothing short of frightening. 

It's been so long that I can't even remember when I first got my glasses. Maybe it was during elementary school? I can't be quite sure. All I can remember is going through many a pair of glasses, and my vision getting steadily worse over the years. I'm guessing I either forgot to take my glasses off before falling asleep or I knocked it down when I was reaching for my phone alarm, but regardless the end result was the same: I had no idea where my glasses were. 

I'm not sure how to describe the feeling of losing your glasses to those who don't need them, but I suppose it's like losing anything you both need and find valuable. It's not like losing your favorite video game or your favorite pair of socks, but more like losing important documents or perhaps your car keys, except that the thing in question isn't tied to your job but rather one of your senses. 

So imagine waking up and not being to see anything as clearly as you once did. Everything past your nose is just blurs, blobs of color that simultaneously feel familiar and alien.

At first I was just annoyed. Usually if I misplace my glasses it's essentially a point A to point B thing, but not being able to recall where I last put them didn't help. I scrambled around on my bed for awhile, using my phone's camera as a make-shift pair, but to no avail. Slowly but surely a sense of anxiety started to creep up on me. I started getting illogically scared, because it felt like I wouldn't be able to see again despite the fact that I probably could have gotten a pair by next week.

When I finally did find them, I felt relieved. The whole event seemed to last forever, but in reality it was probably no more than five minutes. 

But now, as I type this, I also realize that unless I get surgery, I'll be forever tied to these things. That same anxiety and fear will always be lurking around the corner.

DAY 39 - Chores

Back when I first wanted to try and lose weight, my friend who was on the cross country team in high school and is still very fit today gave me some advice about running. "Don't focus on how much more you have to do," or something to effect, which makes sense. It's like watching the clock countdown in class or at work, or checking your downloads every five seconds to see if they're done; time just slows to a snail's pace.

I mention this because today marks the 39th post in this Blog Every Day challenge. If I indeed go the distance, that would mean I will have made 365 posts (technically 366 if you count the introductory post). So that's 39/365 or, whipping out calculator real quick, 10.68% complete.

My friend's advice pretty much applies to all things where patience or perseverance is key, but I can't help myself. That's probably due in part to me thinking something magical might happen at the end of everything, but I've also always been a sort of impatient guy when it comes to things I want to do.

Which is interesting, because I've been told I'm very patient with people. I guess that's possible, but my tired mind is not letting me comprehend the seemingly paradoxical situation.

I remember seeing a very relevant quote to this situation, but I cannot for the life of me remember how the quote went nor where I saw it, but it essentially boiled down to human nature and how humans are acutely aware of the passage of time and all that.

Like I have mentioned twice before, I've already hit a writer's block. Thankfully the nasty ol' block hasn't reared it's head since then, but there's another issue that I touched upon before as well: getting bored.

That is to say, I don't want this thing to become a chore or a hassle or what have you. I also don't want to make throwaway posts, but I just might hit that wall again and not know what to write about. Still, I do have those story things lined up (eventually), so perhaps that'll get my mind stirring and away from these somewhat negative thoughts.

Eric

DAY 38 - Getting Old

Today at work while I was making some food, I felt it.

Lower back pain.

As the days have passed, I've been getting achier and achier. My old theater job, I was up and about for anywhere between 7-9 hours, either walking constantly or being forced to stand in one position for the entirety of my shift. My feet hurt after some of those shifts, yeah, but I was usually able to recharge in a day or two's worth of rest and show up to work with no foot pain.

That was during my late high school years and early 20s, but now? Not so much.

(A quick aside, but the former part of that sentence hurts my soul.)

Maybe it's because of the different workload between my old and current job. My previous job I worked anywhere between 2-6 days and I was, like I said, constantly on my feet. My current job, I work 4-5 days but I can generally sit for a decent amount of time whenever it isn't busy (which is often).

There doesn't seem to be much difference upon writing it out, but then it occurred to me that my old job required us to wear formal shoes. My restaurant gig lets us wear sneakers. I guess... I guess I am getting old.

Years of poor posture have perhaps finally started catching up to me. It doesn't help that my computer is situated in front of my bed, either. I have virtually no back support going on right now, oh man. Maybe some room feng shui is in order...


Eric

DAY 37 - Baby Steps

A long, long time ago, perhaps three or four years ago when I created this blog for my original Blog Every Day... er, blog, I was really into YouTube. I followed a handful of people, but the ones who inspired me to do this whole thing were two YouTubers known as the vlogbrothers. 

If I am not mistaken, the original challenge these fine dudes proposed was a month-long Blog/Vlog Every Day in April, or BEDA for short. I made it a year for myself because... well, I thought it would be a nice challenge. My poor grasp on time most likely had a hand in this decision as well as my knack for underestimating things, but I digress.

Primarily, though, I thought that if I could do something as crazy as manage to blog every day in a year, I would somehow grow; somehow escape the rut I've been in ever since I finished high school. I won't get into the specifics now, but essentially it boils down to this question:

What do I want to do with my life?

I never really talked to anyone older than me about the whole process, so coming straight out of the gate, I felt like I had to make one big decision that would affect the rest of my life to the day I died. The vlogbrothers, though, had a good point of view on the topic, and it helped assuage my fears for the time being.

But then I stagnated. I was enjoying the present, so that's where my focus was. I didn't really do anything to move toward the future, thinking that I would somehow come up with what I wanted to do one day. 

Coincidentally, the vlogbrothers are Hank and John Green, the latter being a novelist. I started reading his books around the time I was still avidly watching YouTube videos, and I recently re-discovered a very relevant quote from Green's book, Looking For Alaska:

"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia... You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present."

So with that in mind, I want to start working toward a better me. There's a whole laundry list I'd like to go over, but for now I think I'll ask a couple of friends if the want to hit the gym.

Eric

DAY 36 - LOUIE G

Ha ha, name puns.

Today I woke up shortly before noon. Instead of getting up and getting ready to leave for the train station, though, I thought about it and ultimately... I did not!

I talked about not having the chance to rest and relax and all that yesterday for a semi-extended period of time and it sorta got me thinking. While I think I would have enjoyed the train, my desire to just kick back and not doing anything for once won out. How often am I going to be able to just sit around and enjoy time to myself with school coming up, while trying to maintain a job and all that?

It's not the same for sure, but at least I'm able to check out the train and see what it was like. Perhaps it was a "once in a lifetime" deal or maybe not, but thinking back on how I spent my day today, I don't really regret it. I also saved money that I would have spent on the train plus any food that I would have probably bought while out and about in the city, so that's an added plus.

I think me from a couple of years ago, the guy who had been working for more than a couple of years while still (sorta) going to school would have gone. Perhaps I just need to get more into the groove of work and school because, after all, I just got this gig in January. Maybe I'm just getting old and losing all that youthful energy?

Naw, probably not.


Eric

DAY 35 - R&R

Tomorrow's the big day. It's Luigi train day! I'm pretty sure I'll go, though right now all a post-work me wants to do is rest and maybe play a video game or two.

It's been awhile since I've been able to rest for an extended period of time. I mean, I do have my rest time. My shifts are somewhat short (7-8 hours max) on any given day, and I usually have two or three days off a week. I'm talking about at least a week off to just do... whatever.

I guess that's a lot in retrospect. I was talking to a friend of mine who just recently landed a job with his degree about paid time off and whatnot. From what I remember him telling me, for every three weeks he gets a paid day off. That's pretty sweet. If my restaurant job had PTO like that, it would take me... 21 weeks to get a week off. That's 5 months, holy crap.

I literally stared at that, wide-eyed, and somewhat shocked. I'm pretty bad with time, though, so maybe I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was when I first read that.

There was a point in my life when I had no job and I took online classes. It was a really easy time because I spent my days how I wanted to. Looking back on it now, I regret those days in the sense that I never really got anything done but, on the other hand, I miss them because I was able to go wherever and do whatever so long as I had a little money.

Those days are in the rear-view mirror, though. If I play my cards right the future is going to be a lot of work.

That doesn't sound all too appealing, though.

DAY 34 - Content

Yesterday's post got me thinking a lot about the content of this blog. I guess it's mostly a diary of sorts; a public private diary, as I don't think anyone else reads this right now besides myself. That's okay with me.

Despite myself putting this up on a very public site and not putting any privacy... things on my posts, I never expected this blog to get popular nor did I want it to. I think I've said this before, but I'm doing this mostly for myself. For me, it's the challenge of writing something every day that isn't just a vapid, 140 characters or less status update or pictures of what I'm going to eat or whatever. I have Facer and Twitagram or Instabook for all that.

What this is for... it's for me, really. I try to change it up every so often, put a little variety in it. I also try to make it easy/interesting to read by doing little things, but that's about as much as I do with others in mind. Mostly it's just me.

Thinking more about my own memory, these entries are great for me to capture moments in time, whether it be actual events or just my train of thought at the time. I remember looking back on posts I made on Xanga or Wordpress and thinking, "Who is this person?" Whenever I think about this, lyrics from a particular song always pop in my head:

"Never the same person when I go to sleep / as when I wake up."

I think that's what lead me to believe that I had a not-so-great memory because, if I can't remember who I was a year ago, what does that say about me?

What does that say about me, indeed... hm.

So maybe that's what this blog is about. I did say it was meant to be a diary of sorts, so equal parts introspection as there frivolous posts and other such things. And well... that makes a lot of sense to me now.

A blog about me, for me and by me. Ha.


Eric

DAY 33 - Memories

So yesterday I mentioned that I was the (not-so-proud) owner of a really bad memory. I wouldn't say it's terrible bad because I obviously remember who I am, who my friends and family are, so on and so forth. I'm just one of those guys who's just forgetful.

I'm not entirely sure what I can compare this too, but in my experience I feel like I have a bad memory. Maybe I just think that because I spend so much time with... well, myself. The instances I'm thinking about right now are generally just things that I think a lot of people do from time to time. Stuff like forgetting your keys at home or forgetting to mention a certain detail when telling a story or something.

If I have enough time to prepare beforehand I usually don't forget; usually the night before a few hours in advance where I don't have to do anything else but relax are good times. I've gotten into the habit of thinking about what I need before leaving the house, so that also helps. Hm... so maybe I have an average memory? I'm not quite sure.

What I am sure about, however...

I remember a couple of people, two older ladies my mom's age who I called tita or aunt, that I grew up with. I remember my cousins, friends and I would stay up playing games all night because our parents would be in the next room over playing mahjong. I remember how much fun both we all had fun on those nights, mostly every Saturday.

I remember when the games became less frequent. I remember my mom and grandma looking for more players, and myself wondering what happened to my titas.

I remember first hearing about my titas facing dementia or alzheimer's or something. I remember the first time I met one of my titas and she didn't recognize me.

I remember when my mom told me my other tita died from complications to her dementia.

So even if I managed to convince myself just now that I had a probably normal memory, there is one thing I am sure about. I am deathly afraid of just... forgetting.


Eric

DAY THIRTY - Strange?

Today at work, my coworker's sister and her young son came in near closing time. The way my coworker interacted with his nephew made me feel a bit nostalgic but also a little... wanting, maybe?

Nostalgic because when I was younger, maybe around 9 or 10, my mom remarried and had a couple of children. Growing up, we weren't poor but we weren't rich--middle class. Sometimes my mom's mom (my grandma) helped out with the kids, but other times I had to help. That includes the feeding and the changing diapers.

Strangely, I don't remember if I was grossed out or not as a youngin' by baby poo. Thinking back on it now as my current self, I wouldn't have a problem with it because... it's just poop? I don't know, I generally know where it comes from and it's not like I'm going to accidentally eat it or something, so I have no problem with it.

I suppose I'll stop there before it gets any weirder.

Anyway, I also felt... wanting. I know there's that female stereotype where they want to be mothers and raise children and all that sort of thing, and there's that other stereotype that has women around my age (24+) suddenly wanting children.

Stereotypes or gender roles shouldn't matter to me, no. It's absurd to hold yourself to what's manly and what's womanly, what's masculine and what's feminine in regards to what you like and what you want to do. I like musicals. I like cute things. I'm a fan of purple and I don't mind pink. I don't think it's weak to cry; rather, the complete opposite.

So what's wrong with me wanting to raise a kid?

Outside of all practical things (not a high-enough paying job, not enough time to dedicate to them, etc), for some reason I can't shake the feeling that it's wrong for me to want a kid. Well, not wrong, but... strange, I guess?

Perhaps I just need to tell myself more that it shouldn't and it's not a problem. I guess it's just one of those things where it would be nice to hear it from someone else.


Eric

DAY TWENTY-NINE - Mechanical

I ordered a mechanical keyboard recently at the recommendation of a friend. He told me it was generally better for gaming which is, I think, a decent driving force for me buying one. The rest of my motivation?

It looks cool. Purple LEDs are pretty awesome.

It finally came in today and holy carps, it feels great. It's smooth? Or like butter? I'm not sure how to properly describe it. The point is, I'm thinking it was a pretty good purchase. And now I have a backup keyboard that I can give away to someone or something.

I mention this because I actually got it earlier in the day but I woke up a little later and ended up having to go to work without trying this bad boy out. I was thinking about opening the package it came in up while I was killing time at work, and then I thought about how weird it was that I was excited about a keyboard. I used to be excited about games coming in (well, I still do), but now I was getting excited about something a lot of folks take for granted?

Of course, it's a mechanical keyboard. High-tech, definitely better than the average keyboard you can get for $20 at Best Buy or something.

I'm probably over-thinking the whole situation. Thinking in the grand scheme of things and how a lot of my problems here in middle class America pale in comparison to those living in less fortunate areas. That does not diminish these problems of course, but it helps give me perspective and keep me down to earth. At least I hope so?

Anyway, it's time to test this keyboard out on some wicked spreadsheets.


Eric

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT - What a MOAT!

If you haven't heard already, Watamote is a manga series turned anime series about a super otaku girl who is also very, very bad at social situations. I'm probably understating a lot here but you get the idea.

I was thinking about the series today in combination with my DMing experiences thus far. Like I think I've stated before, I thought it was kinda funny that despite my love for fantasy and writing, I didn't get into Dungeons and Dragons until fairly recently. Today I realized that the major reason was most likely the roleplaying.

That's not to say I don't want to roleplay but instead that I am scared to. Or perhaps intimidated, who knows.

I've always held semi-secret aspirations to act or something. I think that's a fairly common desire. It's fun to pretend to be someone else for a little bit, right? But roleplaying... I guess like any social or public thing, you are putting yourself out there for your audience. Obviously the gaming table should be a friendly and inviting place; far different from the Broadway stage or what have you. Putting yourself out there is still a big step.

My last few DMing experiences I felt like my roleplaying fell flat. I copped out often, either by breaking the fourth wall or by referring to characters in third person. I want to work on that, but as I helping customers I realized something.

So that Watamote bit at the beginning? Not entirely pointless! I can't even bring myself to say hello or goodbye to a stranger at work when they walk in. How am I supposed to roleplay an entirely different character when I can't even properly greet someone?

Despite all the negativity here, I think I'm getting better at roleplaying. I eventually wanna be able to get really into it but... Rome wasn't built in a day, they say.


Eric