Different Direction

This is not a continuation of the "blog every day" challenge. I have clearly failed that. There will be a time when I try my hand yet again at writing something daily for a year, but now is not that time. In the mean time, this blog will be taking a... decidedly different direction.

I've been struggling with how to word this post for a little while but as an amateur writer trying to get back into the swing of things, it's simultaneously agonizing and invigorating. For a long while this post was incredibly long-winded and, in many ways, jumping the gun on future posts. It also got super pity-party, which I'm not sure how it got to... But before I start rambling, let's get to the bare bones of this situation.

I'm here for several reasons. One nostalgic reason is that I miss the whole blogging deal. I grew up with Xanga and even made some cool friends through it. That was then, though, and this is now; two very different situations, but hey, it's nostalgia.

Another reason is fairly trivial, and it's that I am taking a break from Facebook. This reason is twofold: while it's a great tool to keep in touch with people, I've found myself going to it only to close the tab a few seconds later. Second, I... am exercising my better judgement and instead doing something stupid, I'm just going to take a step back and collect myself.

And lastly... well, that last part I think is rather on point. "Take a step back and collect myself." A lot has happened in the past half-year since I failed the 365-post challenge and it got me thinking about... well, everything really. The people and things I've known, lost, hated and loved. I think I've been too complacent and put off dealing with anything remotely serious for far too long.

Lately, though, I've been feeling different. Tired of being this detached. So I want to explore everything and everyone that's been important to me. Dive right into it. And to do that, I want and need to start writing again. It's the main reason why I'm back here, the raisin debt-ra--er, raison d'etre. If that's one positive I'd credit to Facebook, it's that seeing my friends getting out there and write, write, write... well, it's damned inspiring is what it is.

This is... mostly for myself. Of course it is. Talking about yourself and your past, who else would be interested in that besides you? On some level I'm hoping that seeing my past scrawled out in front of me will give me some kind of clarity, a "eureka" moment, but... well, we'll just have to see how it goes. It's probably going to be sappy, or crappy, or a little bit of both.

Realistically, the latter.

DAY 81 - Baseball Past

Talking about baseball yesterday got me to thinking... how did I exactly get into it in the first place?

My family as a whole isn't really big on sports besides basketball, boxing and the occasional tennis. Being a part of a Chicago-Filipino family, the most I've heard about sports relates to either the Chicago Bulls during the 90s or Manny Pacquiao of boxing fame. That's about it for my family in terms of sports. I'd say that my family is sort of bandwagon-y, but even when the Blackhawks took it home twice in the last three years, I never once heard their name in my household.

I didn't have anyone to encourage me to go into sports. The most sport-like thing I did was take karate for a year or so, but that never completely panned out for me. I also had the fortune of grow up during the time of the rise of video games, so my childhood primarily focused on catching Pokemon as opposed to catching home run balls at the ballpark, which I don't mind at all.

So my younger years seriously lacked baseball, though I remember some big events like the whole Chicago Cubs/Steve Bartman fiasco in 2003 and some of my high school teachers going nuts about the Red Sox taking it home after 86 years. I think that's about the time I got into the wide world of baseball, because during that time I met a good friend who was into baseball for far longer than I've been. I remember him saying he's gone to games when Sammy Sosa was on the Cubs.

Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure how we got to the topic of baseball as we generally hung out through a shared interest in video games, but I think at one point we went to a baseball game. I didn't immediately fall in love with the game, but I know I enjoyed it. From there we went to more and more games, and I was even able to catch a few fly balls! After that, my friend set up a fantasy baseball game and that's when it all came together.

I did a lot of research on who to draft, who was projected to have a good or bad year and all of that. I was so invested in the game that I started frequenting a baseball site, MLB Trade Rumors, in an attempt to get an edge. I've since read it everyday and have branched out to several other sites for baseball news and, as a result, have become decently baseball-savvy. What I like about the sport, I think, is that it's very tactical. That and it just feels so... community-based, maybe? Either way, I look forward to the day where I can pass on my love for baseball.

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Oh yeah, and in regards to the fantasy baseball league... Admittedly, despite all the player research I didn't look into how a fantasy game was played so I think I made a fool of myself during the draft period, but I quickly got the hang of it. I even made awesome moves based on sabermetrics, which is a whole 'nother beast; case-in-point, Max Scherzer. Leading the wins category in my league.

Still in last place, though. Three years straight, ha.

DAY 80 - Baseball Present

I think I've mentioned some time before that I'm a baseball fan though it's hard to remember every little thing that you bring up over the course of 80 posts that isn't the main topic. In particular, I am an avid fan of the Chicago Cubs. I don't know everything there is to know about the Cubs past and present, but I think I know more than the average fan. Enough to know top prospects, projected year for contending and all that.

I bring this up because the this weekend is the last weekend for regular season baseball. October, for those who don't know, is playoff month and the Cubs... well, they're fourth to last--in the entire, thirty-team league. Despite the abysmal record, they're definitely better than last year and their recent signings are enough to make me look forward to 2014 (or 2015). Still, I support my team by going out to games and keeping up with the latest news.

But you see, the problem this year is... I didn't go to a single ball game. That might seem trivial or silly to some, but if memory serves I've gone to at least one baseball game every year. I've even gone to some games far north in Milwaukee, which was pretty fun.

Whenever I went to a game at the Friendly Confines, I usually went with a couple of friends. I think the issue this year is that our schedules never aligned and we took it for granted. Half of any team's games are played at home, so... "that's 81 whole games! We'll catch one eventually, right? Right?" But as I'm sitting here typing this, all 81 home games have come and gone, with the last three games of the Cubs' season happening south in St. Louis. I thought about making the trip out there with my friend, but the price would probably have been high due to the Cardinals being playoff-bound and, well, the trip itself.

It's okay though. Like a Cubs fan says, hoping their team will win a World Series, so too will I say hoping to catch a game in the future: there's always next year.

DAY 79 - 'Fraid

Halloween is a little over a month away and that got me to thinking about scary things.

In short, I am no good with scary things whatsoever. At least real-time things.

Contrary to what some folks might say about violent video games making people equally violent, I can't stand watching any of that grotesque, bloody violence in live-action movies. I also am very easily surprised. That coupled with even slightly scary things makes it all the worse. To give you an idea: I flinched pretty badly near the end of The Departed--spoiler--wherein Leonardo DiCaprio's character gets shot in the head as soon as the elevator door opened. Granted, I think it was actually still pretty shocking, but hot damn that scared me. Another extremely mild example is whenever I think I'm alone and I start singing or think aloud; whenever I am promptly proven wrong, I kind of jump or reply loudly.

If it's at all within my power I tend to stop the video or the gif or whatever before it gets a chance to spook me. Even when I'm fully expecting a jump scare, I can never truly prepare for it. One thing I do which I am pretty sure is annoying is to do the jump scare myself; that is, suddenly move or something. Ruins the mood, I'd say, but holy crap. Long after a scary video or story or whatever, the memory of it stays with me for awhile and it's enough to make me extremely paranoid.

Back when I worked at my old theater job, whenever I had something scary in recent memory, the long hour trip back via public transportation was just... dreadful, haha. I walked along a road that was pretty dark for a good stretch of it and, on top of that, my neighborhood isn't exactly "well-lit" to begin with. My new job is actually right next to where I'd get off the bus I took from my old job, so the travel back home has been cut drastically. Still doesn't change the fact that my neighborhood doesn't have too many lights. The sunlight's been waning with each passing day, too.

A few days ago I learned of a new, highly-rated haunted house thing where the premise was that you'd have to go through it alone and it's pitch-dark. In addition, the actors inside the place are allowed to touch you. The video for the thing itself wasn't too scary, but the idea of being "alone" in the dark... holy hell. I've been getting more and more paranoid each night every time I think about it.

The one medium I can tolerate scary things is writing. I thoroughly enjoy creepy short stories and one time I read through a site's whole archive. It was pretty fun, though walking home at night? Not so much.

DAY 78 - Rain

World of Warcraft was my first big MMO and part of the draw for me was the huge, seamless, open world. Once I reached level 90, I spent a couple of hours travelling Azeroth via flying mount to see what there was to see. One thing I've always enjoyed about World of Warcraft was its semi-realistic weather system. Depending on the region you were in, the weather varied from sunny to cloudy to rain/snow. So while I was on my quest to explore every region of WoW's world, every time it rained or snowed, I just stopped to take in the scenery and enjoy myself.

Something about the sound of rain is just... I'm not sure. Calming, perhaps. Soothing. Maybe even a little romantic, which may seem odd. To me, though, it means comfort; staying warm under the blankets while the pitter-pat of the rain hits your rooftop. It's also somewhat nostalgic to me; it reminds me of a time when I was younger, going on long road trips with family or friends or staying inside while on vacation in the Philippines because it was rainy season. We seem to have a knack for visiting the Philippines during said rainy season, and every time it rains non-stop for a week or so. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed myself during that time.

Snow has a similar effect on me. Falling snow, the kind that falls like a feather, is absolutely beautiful, mesmerizing. I remember watching the snow fall after school one evening, when it suddenly started snowing and the buses were all delayed. I don't remember what was happening around that time, but I remember feeling hopeful... or was it longing? I would fall in love with snow even more so after watching an anime movie, 5 Centimeters Per Second.

It's been fairly dry these past few weeks, so my love of precipitation has gone on hiatus. However, Final Fantasy XIV helped remind me. Damn, rain is great.

DAY 77 - Waking Up

Today I woke up about 20 minutes before my alarm clock was scheduled to go off. That's been happening a lot lately for one reason or another, but thankfully I'm never (incredibly) tired during work. This morning was markedly different than the other days, though, because I remembered that my birthday was coming up in a few weeks.

And then I realized that I'd be turning 25. From there my mind jumped around a lot.

I thought about all the things I haven't done yet, like college or living on my own. I'm ashamed to admit that my workout plan hasn't started yet, though I have everything I need to get started. I thought about the future, where I'll be in another 10 years; will I still be here, in the same, old house with the same, old worries about the future? Right now my excuse would be "I'm still young" or something to that effect, but 35... I would ideally have had kids by that point. Settled down, moved out, have a "good" job.

I remembered thinking the exact same thing while I was in high school, still scared about what the future might hold. "Where will I be when I'm 25? Will I be teaching by then? Out on my own, living and doing things by myself (or with someone)?" I thought a lot about how crazy it was that I'll be a quarter-century old. I assessed my life and while I'm no where as accomplished as others my age, I think I'm pretty happy. Or perhaps content is the word?

While at work I realized I've now known one of my friends for exactly 10 years. That may not seem like a feat in and of itself, but I'm still amazed. 10 years seems simultaneously long and short. I'm definitely getting older.

I remember hearing with some regularity during high school that you should do X or do Y because one day you'll wake up and realize you're old and unhappy or whatever. It's interesting that this sort of happened to me, but it doesn't stop me from thinking the phrase is silly. Hm. I ought to try and motivate myself, maybe with another cliche:

I'm not getting any younger.

DAY 76 - Royal

Today I spent most of my time with my family, celebrating the birthdays of my cousin and my aunt. So, going along with this theme, I figured I'd give a little review of the place we went to. I am in no way qualified to make a big review on the place, so take my two cents with a grain of salt. Idioms are weird.

We went to a restaurant, an all-you-can-eat (I think) seafood buffet almost an hour out from my home called Royal Hibachi. Despite the distance, I'd say the place pretty much warrants the trip. As this was a family thing I didn't have to pay a dime, but I've been to the place before and if I recall the prices aren't too bad considering it's all-you-can-eat seafood. In addition to that, the whole process of getting your food is quick and easy; the only time you really have to wait is if you're trying to get a table from my experience. There were times where there were so many people you had to get in line for the food, but even then the line went through the food pretty fast.

Food selection was pretty good. There was of course a large variety of seafood, as well as beef and chicken dishes.In one section of the food area are various soups and another section is sushi; I believe there was also a... I don't know how to put it. Stir fry? An area where you select various ingredients and a chef prepares it for you. I actually haven't utilized that place in the handful of times I've been to Royal Hibachi, but it's pretty cool knowing that I have that option. In addition to the main course foods, there was also a small section dedicated to desserts, including various pastries, fruits, ice cream, and even a chocolate fountain for dipping things into.

The service was pretty good, too, considering how busy it got later into the evening. Our server stopped by frequently and, as such, we rarely had an empty drink or too many dishes crowding the table. Aesthetically, the place was pretty wide open so regardless of the large amount of people, the restaurant didn't feel cramped or anything--quite the opposite, actually. I particularly liked the colors of the place, a sort of dark blue/brown for the floors and I think white for the walls, so it wasn't too bright or too dark; the place felt just right.

All in all, I always enjoy going to the Royal Hibachi. It's a bit of a long drive out but I think it's definitely worth it. A out of 10 stars.